long road ahead - mileven

long road ahead

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El could have almost sworn she had heard Mike calling her name in the wind. He hadn't called though. He never would again.

She kept her steps steady, she wanted to look purposeful for anyone that saw her walking down the long road called Mirkwood. It was the same road near the forest where she and Mike first met, the same road where Will encountered the Demogorgon, and lastly, the same road where everything she loved had went away all at once.

The crisp air burned her throat. Or maybe it was the sorrow, she couldn't tell. In any case, she was hurting a lot, nevermind her throat. Her heart was broken in thousand little pieces, and it couldn't be mended. I should've done more, she thought, and she was right. She should have done more, she should have used her powers all the way until she would have been sore and so tired she should have feared for her life. But she didn't do enough.

And now all she felt was hatred for herself for still being here, breathing and putting one foot in front of the other. How dared she be the last one standing? Or walking. Whatever. She really did have the nerve to be breathing now that everyone else wasn't. She mentally kicked herself repeatedly for everything she had and hadn't done, and she probably wouldn't stop until she fell asleep for good.

You see, she did good. She actually did good, killed a whole bunch of flesh eating monsters, did everything she could to destroy every last one of them, but she was too late. Everyone else was already dead when she got there. She could have tried to use her powers to save someone, (her heart screamed Mike) but what use would that have been. The Demodogs would have killed them in a heartbeat. But still, she wondered if there had been a way to save at least one of them.

Her feet felt like lead, too heavy to lift, but still she kept going. She had to keep going even when she didn't want to, or else she would get stuck right there and then and would never move again. Her body ached still, it had been days since the attack, but it still hurt just like she was taking her first breath after unleashing the powers she barely knew she had. She felt desperate at first, then tired, so tired, like she had been on the go her whole life and took her first break ever. That's how tired she was, that and more. And even then, she felt like she wasn't and hadn't done enough.

A memory flooded her brain. Mike had mentioned the Snowball dance to her, and his friends, Dustin and Lucas had immediately started making fun of him, saying how him and El should go together. Mike's cheeks were turned deep red, and he defended his honour with a sentence as mighty as: "Ew no, we're just friends." El didn't mind him saying that, he had later told her that she meant more for him than anyone else. But the way he blushed, it was everything for her.

Now his skin was cold and pale.

And the memory was gone as quickly as it had came. She felt weak again. For a moment she had been with him again, and now the world was cold, reality had pulled her back from her dreams where she and Mike still had a chance to be together. And she felt her knees give up,

The ground hitting her legs hurt, but it was nothing compared to what she had been through. She knew this was it, now that she had stopped, she was stuck in here and now. And it felt... okay. It felt okay to stop and take a deep breath before she was to become one with the ground again.

She felt her knees starting to get buried under the mud. She didn't fight it, she would have barely had the energy for it, but she didn't mind. She felt peaceful for once, until the only thing over the ground was her head. She knew she was about to be buried, and she fought back as good as she could. And she fought good, but again, it wasn't enough. She took one last deep breath and closed her eyes before her face was buried in the mud too.

She emerged from the other side of the ground, her lungs screaming for help. It was darker there, colder too. She was back in the Upside Down. And she could have almost sworn she heard Mine calling her name.

The End

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