sold to phoebe bridgers

a cursed encounter

sorry for the long wait i actually got hit by a stray baseball at a game but i'm so small and tiny that it flung me into outer space!! >o< (THATS A JOKE I SWEAR) 

you woke up sobbing because you had a horrible dream about ed sheeran doing punisher covers on a potato-powered electric guitar while nick and frances did synchronized swimming wearing irish flag swim caps in a pool of white wine that melissa was dumping red wine into just to cause problems. 

"y/n what's wrong? you had a bad dream?" phoebe said. she was standing by the stove and whatever was on it was burning. 

"horrible," you said with a shiver as you remembered ed sheeran's face. "i got no sleep."

"cuz we were kissing obvi," phoebe said. you blushed and stammered. 

"i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i- 🥺" 

"oh i'm not being serious i'm just reciting me and my dog," she said. she turned back to the stove and coughed as smoke wafted towards her face. 

"oh........................................................................................................................................................."

"are you packed? our flight is in two hours." 

"wait so why are we not at the airport??????"

"because i'm not a middle aged white dad tf?"

you neatly folded your blankets in your little corner. you would miss it. no you wouldn't. 

you ate breakfast which was just a charred, unidentifiable mess. you smiled and chewed the charcoal and ashes and hoped that maybe the silver lining would be that it would whiten your teeth. you made it to the airport in record speed and taylor was already at the gate by the time you arrived. 

"oh my god phoebe," you whispered. "we never hatched a plan. and the bags are already checked." 

"oh no," she said. she tapped her chin. "taylor. i need your grammy award winning influence okay?" 

"yas no problem. what do i do?"

"tell the boarding pass person they get free tickets to all of your future shows or something if they let y/n on this plane." 

"that feels illegal." 

"you know what feels illegal? reputation."

"now that was uncalled for." 

"didn't you put the money in the bag and steal the keys? didn't you commit vehicular manslaughter with harry styles?" 

"now phoebe that's just a conspiracy-"  

"hush now," phoebe said. "just do it." 

"i didn't bring a getaway car. we better not get arrested!" 

taylor (grudgingly) pitched her bargain to the little boarding pass scanner who accepted the offer without hesitation. 

you slept the whole plane ride and this time you dreamed of low quality music videos. ed sheeran didn't bother you. 

when you got to japan you checked into a hotel and then thought about what you were going to do. you went to a temple but it was boring or whatever so you left!!!!!! taylor was like hey let's go to an arcade but phoebe spotted a payphone and decided she had to talk to someone. so taylor went alone </3

 when phoebe got off the phone she grumbled about it being too expensive.

"now i won't have any money left for the arcade," she said sadly. "ok i'm going to go meet up with taylor!!!"

you went into the payphone booth and called your mom. 

"hello who is this" she said on the other end. 

"hey mom just so you know i am having so much fun with phoebe we're in japan rn and it's pretty lit."

"did i ask"

your lower lip started to tremble but then you remembered what phoebe said about crying. 

"no but i thought i should show you. you sold me to hurt me huh? to break me? well guess what i'm doing perfectly fine-" 

"what?" 

"I SAID i'm doing perfectly-"

"makes you think i care," your mom said on the other end. then she giggled. 

"that's cool honey but idgaf. okay so i may or may not have a date with jake gyllenhaal so i have to go!" 

"WHAT?"

the phone call ended. you slid down the side of the glass payphone booth and starting shaking with tears. how could your own mother do this to you????????

suddenly the glass shattered. you looked up and your vision was a little blurry because you were crying but you were pretty sure you saw a fine babe holding a smoking revolver. 

tf? 

"sorry about that it's just you were about to die," she said. you stood up and looked around. there was no apparent threat but oh well. suddenly a huge man who was absolutely ripped walked up and squinted at you. 

"what's your type of woman?" he asked. you blinked. 

"oh i'm not gay haha!" you said. "girls cant love girls am i right?" 

"oh.... you're one of those people. i guess i just have to fight you......" 

"wait no i was just kidding! i'm a homosexual!" 

"okay so answer my question," the man asked. the other girl was messing with her gun. 

"well....... there is this one girl who's my type... she's a little morbid but i like that about her..." 

"oh..... so you're one of those sentimental personality people hm? i guess i have to fight you." 

"wait no!" you yelled. you ran away and since you were so small and tiny you were able to escape because he couldn't even see you. 

when you stopped running you looked around and realized you had no idea where you were. you patted your pockets down but oh no! your phone was gone! what will you do?????

find out next time on 𝓼𝓸𝓵𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓹𝓱𝓸𝓮𝓫𝓮 𝓫𝓻𝓲𝓭𝓰𝓮𝓻𝓼