This is me

Working on Me

Hello, its been a long while hasn't it...

Well, tbh, I fell back off... My life had been rocky. I quit my job to get a better paying one but quit that one because they treated me poorly for a health condition I can't control.

I am currently unemployed but honestly I'm doing better than I had when I was with my ex-girlfriend.

I've been having fights ith my eldest sister and we basically don't talk. I poured my heart out to her, telling her I always just wanted to be heard and or accepted by her... She basically told me my words didn't matter anymore and said she didn't trust me at all. She thinks I did something horrible to her oldest son, which isn't true... I just don't know how to mend that bridge anymore.

On happier notes though, I am engaged to my wonderful Fiancé Addam! He is so amazing! I honestly don't know what I would've done when I was going through my last break up. It nearly killed me. I'd hate to think what I would've done had he not been there. I love him so so much. We don't currently have a date picked out for our wedding but we honestly don't have a whole lot of money. Seeing as I am unemployed and broke af... But we wanna have this big cosplay wedding when we do.

Also, I've been going to physical therapy for my hands. I need to be better about doing my at home exercises but it seems to help my pain a little bit. Some days are better than others... But I've been able to read and write better so thats a plus. I'm too afraid to draw as of now though... it hurts to hold something so small... whereas when I write I'm using my computer so I don't have to hold a pencil... so its a bit easier.

I'm getting back in touch with nature as well. I don't like walking but I love just sitting out in the woods where I can hear all the sounds of nature. Birds singing. Bugs chittering. Bunnies hopping. I just feel so relaxed and at home when I open my mind to all those sounds and feelings of the breeze through my hair. It helps open my mind to creativity which I've missed oh so much.

I've also been helping take care of my grandmother, she doesn't really have a hip anymore... So its hard for her to get around. I help her to the bathroom. I cook her food and clean her laundry. I get her water a lot throughout the day. She is in so much pain. But on good news we are trying desperately to get her surgery for a new hip. We can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. We just have a few more hoops to jump through in order for her to get this surgery.

Before I started taking care of her I never really new my grandma. I honestly didn't think we got along well together at all. I am so thankful to have had this time with her though and I wouldn't change it for the world. I am a very religious person so I feel God put me exactly where he wanted me. He took away my jobs so that I could come to know my grandma before she goes home to heaven, and I couldn't be more thankful for the opportunity he's given me.

Anyway, I'm getting rather emotional spilling my guts to you guys... I don't even think anyone even reads these anymore. Well, talk to you all later! If you have questions don't hesitate to ask me!

Also, I hope you enjoy the burrito dog! The picture up above is my dog Olivia. She just got spade but she is doing good. She is a spoiled brat and not very well trained, but I love her all the same.