Fighting The Past - Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Chapter Twenty-Five

Nat stood there for a moment in the middle of her room, she wouldn't let this be it, not after everything that had happened. Heading out of the room, Nat grabbed a photo frame that had been tucked in one the draws of her dresser. 

Storming down the hallway, Nat ignored the others, who were all hanging out in the communal area trying to act as if they weren't paying close attention to what was going on right now. Nat caught up with Y/N in the main foyer of the compound. 

Seeing Y/N walking away, heading towards the doors, it caused Nat to see red, her emotions reached a boiling point. One moment she was gripping the photoframe tightly in her hand, the next she was hurling it with all her strength directly at Y/N. 

It slammed into Y/N's head before falling to the ground, the glass cracking. 

Y/N whirled around, lifting their hand to the back of their head, their eyes wide in shock. 

Standing there, Nat debated tackling Y/N to the ground and physically knocking some sense into their stubborn hard headed arse but she held herself back. She watched as Y/N knelt down and picked up the broken photo frame. 

Y/N turned it over and looked at the photo it contained. It was an old polaroid, the moment it captured had been the day after the pair of them had finally confessed their feelings for each other. They had been sitting on the balcony of the Budapest apartment and Nat had wanted to remember that moment, the first time in so many years that she had felt truly happy and loved.

Looking at it, Y/N realised that Natalia must have somehow gone back to the apartment after they had been taken in order to retrieve the photo that had been on the side table in Y/N's bedroom. 

"You don't get to just walk away from me and act like it's totally okay, that it's what's best for us! Do you remember the day we took that photo?" Nat demanded as she stepped closer to Y/N, "You promised me that day that no matter what the world threw at us, we would face it together. But now you're choosing to just leave, to act like I would be better off without you. I spent years without you Y/N, I can't do that again." 

"Of course I remember" Y/N replied as they looked up from the photo at her, "All I want is for you to be safe Natalia. I... I couldn't live with the guilt, if something were to happen to you because I was selfish and stayed here with you." 

Nat shook her head, she wasn't going to accept this. 

"After everything I have been through, one of the things I have learnt is that life is too short and when I got a second chance at it, when the soul stone was returned in exchange for my life, I promised myself that I wouldn't take it for granted that I wouldn't have any regrets" Nat spoke her voice breaking slightly as she thought back to what had happened on Vormir, "Losing you all over again, that would be something I would regret forever Y/N."

Y/N looked back down at the photo, at both of their smiling faces. They could be that happy again, that was what scared Y/N the most though. For so many years they had refused to let themself have hope, to let themselves believe they were destined to be anything but a fucked up mercenary. They had instead held onto bitterness, anger and pain, surely that was all they deserved after the things they'd done even if all of those things had been at the order of the Red Room or a criminal client?

"Why would you want to be with someone like me Natalia?" Y/N asked with a creeping sadness in their voice, "My ledger, it's filled with so much red. I lost who I was during these last ten years, I've done awful things and never thought twice about it. How can I wipe out that much red? Why should I have a chance at happiness after what I've done?" 

"Y/N you spent most of your life being tortured and trained into being a ruthless killer, that was never your choice, it was never my choice either. You can't blame yourself for that" Nat said gently as she moved closer to Y/N, "But you're free now and you get to make your own choices, ones that could be the start of clearing some of that red in your ledger. Let me help you."