( Bang Chan + Lee Felix )
❝I don't want my Lixie to leave me...❞
┈┈ mistopher | 2022 ++
Traumatized from his past of sex addiction, intercourse is the last thing that Chan wishes to partake in. However, he is yet to adopt the habits of healthy commu...
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Please listen to the song while reading </3 ┈ ┈ ┈ ⋞ 〈 ❄️ 〉 ⋟ ┈ ┈ ┈
⇒ Blueprint Apartments 1:30pm
Love is as one makes it. As fragile as their dignity, or enduring as they wish it to be. Love is nothing but an object of the mind, oftentimes what it is based on. Often times what governs the decisions of one partner.
Oftentimes what gives substance to one's life; makes it worth the suffering.
Felix reminisced on the first time that he truly loved somebody, romantically. Seo Changbin. He loved him indeed. Adored his smile, his laugh, his personality. His everything. Seo Changbin was Felix's partner, held dear to his heart. Made him feel those warm sensations on the inside; made him feel like he could do almost anything to keep their hearts molded together.
Felix also remembered how that hurt when his heart was torn from its lover; scarred, almost.
But then it met Bang Chan; beat for him. Nurtured butterflies when they'd exchange a kiss, or even a phrase, for emphasis. Felix knew that he loved Chan. So strongly, sincerely. Would have sworn that he could do anything; absolutely anything for his partner.
Especially when Chan had been sacrificing so much. Delaying his education, his progress, just to see him prosper.
But Felix wondered how it was that Changbin felt when he had fallen out of love.
How the elder would describe it, in detail. Did his heart beat a little slower than normal around the one who adored him?
Did he feel less determined to do any and everything to make Felix happy?
Did the words, "I love you," object as a false claim along the surface of his tongue?
Felix shifted. He felt awkward, in Chan's hold. They hadn't cuddled like that in a while; weeks. The younger always had an excuse. Whether it was school, work, or being too occupied with a friend to make time for his lover. Something always bordered the progress of their affection.
He sighed as Chan continued to kiss his head, humming sweet nothings near his ear. Neither was paying attention to the film on the television. Not when they could both sense it. And not when Chan was so afraid.
Felix could feel the weight of his heartbeats beneath his head. And his chest ached in empathy, for his boyfriend. But he could do nothing. Not with his level of pride; one which would heartily condemn any attempt to apologize for his distance, especially knowing the conclusion that would follow after.
