A life

Almost Dating

*Mentions of rape, cheating, sex, abuse*

I guess I never got better. I am still hurt by you. Finding out you would text other women "I would kiss you" "If I wasn't with my gf right now so would date you." Many more messages you would send them. I hate how you still effect me, you were my biggest regret. You are such a terrible person. How dare you? You have not been affected by anything yet my life has been turned upside down. You talked about raping me, you talked about getting married, you talked about sex, you talked about meeting my family, you talked about killing yourself then you would tell me you can't lose me and how much you loved me. I could never get away, I tried to many times. Every time you would vent to me, everything you jerked off to a photo of me, every time you told me you loved me; I felt myself slowly being tested apart. When I finally told you some of the things that got on my nerves all you said was, "I'm sorry your view of me was so toxic." It never got better, I grew to hate you more and more.
Again, I tried to end it but you begged me to stay. A week after that we finally ended it. I was so relieved, only downside is that you still wanted to be best friends. You forced yourself into my life when I tried so hard to kick you out of it. You moved on to a new girl, started dating less than 20 days later. The story of how you guys got together is such bullshit. I helped someone with something and you thought it was about you. When I tried to confront you, you lied to my face just like you always do. Do you even know what you are doing wrong? You think your the victim because I only reacted to your abuse. Why do you still watch me in the halls at school? It's been almost 3 months since we "ended it". We were never even dating but you call me your ex. People told me to expose so I started little by little. Looking back at the messages makes my chest feel tight, my hands start to shake and make me want to cry. "Dramatic" and "Spoiled" are some of the names you use to call me. Spoiled for being a women. Dramatic for not having good health. You would get mad at me for not showing my affection, not giving you compliments and not hyping you up on things. I hate physical touch but I didn't want to get yelled at. You got jealous of me talking to people that weren't you, hanging out with my friends, posting them on my story and you would yell at me even texting them instead of you. When I told you it felt like you liked the idea of me and not actually me. You blew up and brang up your ex. There is so much more to the story, this letter cannot even fatalem a small piece of it. I never loved you, I just couldn't get away. Even after we ended things you would still find ways to watch over me. You ruined my life, I am forever scared. If a relationship with a man is like that, I am never going to date a man again. I guess me being bi really does me I am going to get with all my friends. I hope you get what is coming to you.