Do I Need Help? I depressed Deku x kacchan

×12.

dekus pov

im screwed. shinso was there, he knows about everything now. fuck. but at least school is over. but he texted me and said that he could go to there again. like, 'dad', I don't give a fuck.

I went to my dorms and stared at the ceiling. It was quite, peacefully quite. I like staring at the ceiling while spacing out.

if you kill yourself now you'll hear that peaceful quietness everyday.
really..? and nothing is gonna disturb me? ever?
yes, every day, every moment and every second. so... what do you say?
maybe I really should. but wouldn't be kacchan sad about it?
did you really forgot that he did it out of pity? you know he likes kirishima, right?
oh yeah, I almost forgot. and he's really only doing it out of pity? I mean he even kissed me!
he probably lost a bet. haha.
yeah right, probably...

I was staring a the ceiling once again. think about my pitiful life. I suddenly heard a knocking on my door. it's kacchan, only he knocks so loud. "coming" I said in a tired voice. I opened the door. it was really kacchan, I guessed right!

it was obvious. you're nothing special.
yeah you're right.

"stupid deku! what are you doing right now?" was he angry? "nothing." I replied in a cold voice "aizawa sensei told me about your grades. we're going to study now. since I'm the best student in our class." he looked away. was he trying to help me? or was he trying to tell me only the wrong answers? I don't know. but a least I get to spend some time with him.

he started teaching me stuff I never heard of but at least I understood a bit. after an hour I was exhausted but I learned more stuff than aizawa ever thought me. "let's grab something to eat, I'm hungry." why didn't he even look at me? I nodded and we went to eat something. when we arrived I saw it was a restaurant.
"ehm kacchan, I dont eat so much..." he just looked at me "it doesn't matter, I know that your not eating well. I just want to change that." he said without looking at me.

I ordered some fries and he ordered 2 hamburgers and some nuggets (if you don't eat meat then I'm not sorry :>).
we also got some drinks. I ate my fries and they were really delicious!

fat ass.
what?
you heard me, you don't deserve that food. there are so many people out there, suffering from hunger. and here you are. disgusting.
...

I started to zone out and of course kacchan had to notice that. "are you already full? these were medium large fries! come onnnn." his words were soft, really soft. I really liked that. "hehe" I said outloud again. "what?" he looked confused. he looked like someone who just woke up in another world.
after awhile the voice calmed down and I drank the rest of my drink. and then because he sat next to me he, he, he hugged me?

he was really hugging me! I hugged him back and we stayed like this for 2 minutes.

he's only doing it out of pity, you know?
r-really? it feels so real...
how can you be so pathetic?! of course he's just faking it. you really just need attention, huh?
n-no.. that's not what I meant!

"ku. deku. izuku!" I flinched. it was kacchan. the one who was pretending to like the most.

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yaaay! I finished it!! in Germany (where I live) are the Easter holidays over since Monday and now I have school again ToT

pls vote if you liked this chapter <3

word count : 626