Do I Need Help? I depressed Deku x kacchan

×18.

dekus pov

why. Am. I. not. dead.
as soon as I woke up I saw kacchan looking at me. again. he saved me. again. I instantly started panicking, what if Mr aizawa knew or someone from our class?! I felt like I was dying, which would be a good thing but I really didn't wanted to die like this.
as soon as kacchan noticed he started hugging me and telling sweet words... I mean it's sweet and stuff but no, just no. when somebody says that to you, especially someone like kacchan it's cool but I don't really think that this comforts me... it's more like confusing me. but I let him have his 'hErOiC mOmEnT'

After I calmed down he let me go and he was.. crying?? "why did you do that?!" he tried to say it in a soft way but ended up yelling at me. "I don't know, my head just told me to. besides, I want to die happily and not sad so I thought I'd be a good opportunity" I shrugged and looked him deep in the eyes. I didn't want him to know about my 'problem voice'. he was confused, how can you be confused?? did your head or your voice never told you to do anything??! "what do you mean by your head? and we'll always be happy and sad together...so don't lete be happy and sad alone..." he stared at me "I don't know... just a voice that tells you to do some things sometimes. have you never had that?" it was cute that he wanted to be with me and go through thick and thin...as soon as I said that he was even more confused but shock his head, no. I was shocked. you're really a lucky person... or it could be because you're just kacchan. you have a big ego so you would never allow someone to control you and also, you're really smart you would notice it when someone tried to control you or to tell you what to do.

After a few minutes Mr aizawa and uraraka came in and I started panicking again. so mr aizawa knows and uraraka too! what if they told the class about it?! I know that they don't care but they'll hate me even more!

you just want attention, huh?
bitch, faggot, useless shit, why can't you just die?! kacchan already gave you so much attention so shut up already! try to die in a fucking secret way!
"-ku! izuku !" kacchan yelled, did he just called me by my real name?!- no wait, he did that last time too! and the first time too! how come I never noticed...
I looked at him and he was crying, I mean it's surprising that kacchan can cry but so much? I know it's very selfish of me to think that but it's a fact!

"midoriya, are you alright?" Mr aizawa asked, I completely forgot that they were here. I nodded and looked down again. "deku-kun, what happened? what's going on?! please tell us!" She cried. I didn't answer, in fact I didn't know how to answer... "it's.... complicated." I said without looking at her. she started crying again and ran out. what have I done? now she's crying, or pretending to cry, again! and once again it's all because of me.
"midoriya, can we talk for a second, alone?" Mr aizawa looked at kacchan, who nodded and left.

"Im gonna make it quickly.that day when I checked on you because of the mental health test, you saw shinso right?" his voice was monotone and serious, I didn't say anything I just nodded. "you know, shinsou also has depression. he told me that have a voice inside your head. and it's telling you things that are not true, correct?" "yeah" except the last thing. "you know, there are two ways that can get it out of your head."
I wanted to say that there is only one way and is cutting myself and eventually commit suicide but I let him continue. "the first way is to cut yourself, that's what shinso did. but this way will not erase this voice permanently. the second way is love. when you like someone and they like you back the love of you two is able to make you so happy that this voice gets out permanently. since shinso met his boyfriend, denki, he was always happy. and when he wasn't he'd tell me or denki. I know it sounds cringes but still, it changed him in a good way. maybe it'll change you too, give it a try." he sounded so wise. almost like sensei Wu... but does kacchan really like me? I mean he did tell me that he likes but still... "I'll talk to bakugo about this later if it's ok" he said after a while. is he going to help me? I just nodded and Mr aizawa smiled.

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yoooooooo! I. am. back. after my short break I'm back. I feel much better now:D btw I already got my uhhh.... I forgot the word.. that one thing you get at the end of the semester with all your marks on it like A(1)or B(2). and my grade point average is 2,1! that's pretty good for me:)

pls vote if you liked this chapter <3

word count : 898