×16.

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dekus pov

since kacchan left to go back to his dorm I was once again just staring at the ceiling. maybe I should study a bit with music, maybe if I listen to music the voices won't come back! I literally ran to my desk, got my supplies and books and listened to some music.
After a while I felt much more productive than ever. I wonder why I never came up with the idea to just simply listen to music...
soooo, since you've been studying so much... why don't you get yourself a reward and go to cut??
but kacchan told me that it would upset him if I cut again...
do I look like I care?!
but I don't want him to be mad, no.
since when were you so disobedient?! kacchan is just pitying you!
but he even kissed me and told me that I was his treasure!
a) a kiss is nothing special.
and b) everyone could say that. look at you, you are useless, fat, stupid, ugly, a faggot not matter what you do. remind me why are you eating again?
maybe you are right, I'll go to kacchan and talk about it!
what the- why are you going to him now?! just cut already! go to the fucking bathroom get your razor and cut!
"shut up!"

it disappeared. but my body suddenly started to move on its own. what the hell... I tried to resist but is it really that bad to cut..? so I went to the bathroom, my shitty body literally wanted to cut itself, what the actual fuck. I sighed and decided that it would be better if I just cut myself so my body doesn't have to do it on its own.
I got the razor and started cutting
.
.
.
the blood looked funny...my scars are laughing...haha..so many cuts on each arm, lol

After bandaging my arms I went down to the lobby to grab something to drink. and luckily I was greeted by uraraka, yay. "hey deku! how are you?" she smiled "I'm doing pretty good" I said with a beautiful 'smile' she looked down to my arms and her eyes widened, why was she looking at it..? wait, fuck. I forgot to hide them! "deku, why do you have so many bandages on you arms?" she looked a bit concerned, shit. "w-well, I accidentally hurt myself while I was training yesterday a-and it somehow r-reopened my old cuts from the beginning of the y-year..."
please believe me, please believe me!
she nodded and went outside for some groceries, man I'm so relieved right now! I went back to my dorm with a bottle of iced water knowing what's going to happen.

I entered my dorm, closed the door and went straight to the bathroom. I think it's better to die while happy moments are being made...I got some pills, I think about 37, and got back to my room. "time to die" I laughed, funny. I put the 37 pills in my mouth and drank the water. I slowly start to feel dizzy, my heart is going crazy, I mean I'm about to die! yay! ...better off happy than sad...haha...
I begin to loose consciousness and everything goes black.

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hellooooooooo! I'm back once again, hehe. yk, I'm so screwed. in the next 2 weeks I have 4 exams and my mom told me if I fail any of these 4 exams, she'll not allow me to use my phone over the summer vacation! that means no chapter, no genshin, no manwa, no anime and no tik tok!
im being serious now, wish me luck.

pls vote if you liked this chapter <3

word count : 625

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