THE LIFE OF A TEEN

April 25, 2022

welp i am starting this vlog at 10:39 pm but its okay i guess

a quick ootd check im wearing a black top and grey shorts with a bun uhm yeah just cause it was comfortable and i prefer wearing shorts in summers 

okay before i forget it lemme just tell what all i did today......

i woke up at like 2pm in noon cause i slept at like 6:30 am  uhm and after that i woke up took a shower slept again then  i woke up ate my lunch and then i layed on the bed after that i saw netflix for a while then i started dancing but i had to go to the market so i went there i came home changed my clothes and i prolly just saw some shows and listen to songs then i skipped dinner and i started studying a bit i had a fight with my sis and yeah that ruined my mod

i got hurt today but its okay i guess ...

i slept alot today cause past these days i didnt got proper sleep and my body was so tired and my sleep schedule is ruined but once my boards are finished i will get my sleep schedule on track bruhh

i ate watermelon ice at like 6 am in the morning today bro that shit was refreshing asf like so tropical and icy its my favourite and then i made like dumplings at 4 am i was hungry asf and i tried making them for first time and i made it in a hurry so no one wakes up at night and it actually tasted god okay like better than i expected but the top was a bit raw but anyways i loved it .. anyways i lost alot of my weight and i eat so less these days like whyy maybe cause of depression but my family notices i aint eating much yet they dont see that im depressed even tho i told them i am ( asian parents check )

ukw like i study the whole fucking night i take insta breaks tho but what my parents see is i take 14 hrs sleep a day like bro i just sleep for 7 hrs a day wtf u saying and then my relatives goes like i dont even sleep for 7 hrs kids these days im like yeah mf im sorry i sleep cause if i sleep i am healthy and ukw idc like have u woke up all night and then study ur mind and ur body is so fucking stressed like wtf no one sees it no one sees that i am studying they just love to make comments and literally my body is so tensed cause of the change in my routine cause i sleep for atleast  8/9 or 10 hrs a day ik it seems too muh but i need sleep and now i cant really have that too ...

okay lets come to the real topic now ............

i realised im no ones priority even tho i have people to talk to and uk share my things with i feel it annoys them the way of talking and the vibes it's just when there favourite person texts them they tell me to talk later funny how they dont know they are my favourite people apologised to me and talked again with me for their benefits but look no sign of them now ..i wish i have someone who loves with for who i am bot because of how i look someone who understands my quite face and traumas.. someone who asks me how are u? how was ur day? someone who comes to me after an fight hugs me and says to just talk it out someone who just loves me shows me care and affection but its hard and smth too precious to ask for i mean no one did it for me since i was borned no one loved me or tried to love me whereas i gave people all of me it hurts not getting love and affection that u need it sucks being alone it sucks to just fight with ur own self when im all that bubble soft cutie elaina people use me and leave me when im that rude cold gurl everyone makes me feel pathetic and hurt me what should i do what should i be i was there for people even tho they hurted me i listened to them comforted them loved them cared for them but did they?

i look for love and attention in others cause my family just ignores me half of the time no affection no love  but no one really gives a fuck to love me i really want someone just one person but its too much to ask for i dont think i deserve love ig 

just got a text uh fake care and then the real motive came lmao use me alright use me if that makes u happy do it cause i cant help it i get attached with everyone who cares for me sad enough i pity myself