HEAD OVER HEELS - J. BREWER

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍: 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘

The entire time we sparred and trained, all I could think about was what Kim said to me. I didn't want to lie to Jack - not that what I was doing was technically lying, or that I wanted to do it to everyone else, but especially not him. It just felt...wrong. Especially after how patient he had been with me without even knowing what was actually going on. It ate away at me until we were finally finished, and sat down on the extra mats with our waters to cool down.

    "Jack, I have some stuff I should probably tell you."

    He took one more swig of his water before putting it on the floor and turning to face me. "What's going on?"

"It's about why I've been gone. I haven't exactly been telling you guys everything."

"That's okay. You should tell us what you're comfortable with. It's not like we've been friends very long anyway."

I groaned and leaned my head back. "Why are you being so nice? This is making it so much harder."

    "Because I don't want you to think you owe me something you clearly don't owe anyone. I'm okay knowing what I do know until you're fully ready to tell me, and if that's never, then that's fine too. So long as you're okay, I don't care what's going on."

"Oh my God, Jack."

    He smiled a little and wrapped his arm over my shoulders. "I'm just trying not to pressure you. But I'm all ears if you do want to tell me."

    "I do. It's just...a lot. You good to listen for a bit?"

    "I could listen to you explaining physics and it would be fun."

    I grinned despite myself and looked at the ground. "Okay. Buckle in."

***

We finished talking an hour and a half later. He had minimal questions, but my tears were abundant and came in giant tidal waves throughout the conversation. They were the worst part of the whole thing - the last time I had cried other than Jack twisting my arm was my final therapy session. Which was when I was around 11. So I hadn't cried for a solid 4 years, and the first time I did was in front of the boy I thought I would hate forever. Oh, how the tables had turned.

    Jack was a lot better about it than I had expected. To be fair, I was expecting the worst, but that was mostly because I had never told anyone before and he was a teenage boy. And yet I can't imagine how it could have gone any better. He didn't say anything unless I asked him to, but still provided enough support to get me through the whole story.

    "Thank you for telling me, Cer." he said after I was done. I had laid myself across him, with my head in his lap and my legs tucked into a little ball. He was stroking the hair back from my face as I let out the last of my tears. "I honestly, really do appreciate your trust in me."

"You're one of the only people who showed me they can be trusted with something like this. I've never told anyone else."

"No one?"

"Well, except for my therapist, but that's it."

    "Wow. I mean, that's crazy. I'm really the only one?"

    "The only one," I sat back up and faced him. "I don't really know if I want to tell anyone else yet. Will you keep it a secret until I'm ready?"

    "Of course I will."

I smiled and pressed my forehead to his. "You're my favourite person right now, Jack."

    He kissed me softly and wrapped both of his arms around my torso. "I'm your favourite for doing the bare minimum as a friend?"