The Secret Life Of An American Teenager: Riley Matthews

16. Confused Emotions and Confessions

Riley was in her room, she woke up and the entire house was quiet. She retreated into the kitchen to find her mom sitting at the table sipping wine. "Momma,?" Riley said, entering the kitchen. "Riles, hey sweetie," Topanga said, her words slightly slurred. Riley sat down at the table. "Hey, mom?" Riley said, quietly. "Yeah," Topanga answered. "I...I think I want to keep the baby," Riley said, her voice low. "What?" Topanga asked, taking another sip. "I said, I think I want to keep the baby. And before you say anything this was my choice and my choice only. I saw the baby today and I..I don't want to give it up, I want the baby and I think I got this, I know I got this–," "So this has absolutely nothing to do with Lucas?" Topanga asked, refiling her cup. "Of course not, daddy told me that I shouldn't have people to make my decisions and that I should choose for myself and this is me choosing for myself," Riley said, her voice still quiet. "Well, your father doesn't know what he talking about, he never does. He is always thinking about himself and his opinions and his..." Topanga trailed off, realizing she was talking to Riley. "You know what, fine. Do whatever you want. Make whatever decisions you want to make. You're the one who decided to lay down and have sex, do whatever you want Riley," Topanga said, drinking the rest of wine. "Mom, I never said I didn't want your help on this. I still need your help, I can't do this alone. I mean one day I'll be able to because you helped me get there," Topanga shook her head. "You said you got this, if you want to keep the baby then you'll have to do everything on your own. Feed the baby, buy the baby clothes, take the baby to doctor appointments–," "Mom, I never said I wanted to do this on my own–," "No, no go ahead. The baby's all yours," Topanga said, standing. She placed her hand against the table to support herself. "It's all your responsibility," "Why are you doing this? What did I do? I just told you I want to keep the baby and now...now you're acting really immature. You said you would help me, you said you'll help me with whatever I needed help with. Why did you change your mind?" Riley said, raising her voice. Topanga placed her fingers to her temples. "I just don't get how you could be so stupid and have sex at fourteen. Like how irresponsible could you get? I am a great mother, a good mother at that and now...Now my name is all over town, now I'm a bad mother. They act like I had any control over this and I'm sorry Riley if this is hurting your feelings but your decisions have affected my life too, not just yours. Mine, I raised you right, I did the right thing, I told you the right thing, I punished you correctly. Why? Why did you have to do this to me? Why? Riley, aren't I a good mother?" "You are," Riley said, her voice breaking. "Then why? Why do this? Why did this have to happen? Why weren't you thinking? I...I just can't deal with this right now. I'm sorry but sometimes I need a break too, Riley," Topanga said, retreating to the door. "Where are you going?" Riley asked, tears streaming down her face. "I just need some air, Riley. I need some time away from this family, I need time to think," Topanga said, opening the door. Riley watched her mom shut the door behind her. Riley sunk back into the chair she was in and began crying. "I'm sorry," Was all she kept saying.

Lucas was lying awake staring at the ultrasound picture of the baby. He was so conflicted on how he was feeling. He wanted to show his foster parents, but didn't know if he could handle that sort of emotion coming from them, let alone him. He was so happy yesterday, incredibly happy and he didn't let his anxiety or fear get in the way of that. Now it was all coming back and he couldn't help but feel it all at once. The picture he was holding in his hands was crinkled all around. Lucas groaned and placed the picture on his stand, he got up and read the clock, it read; 6:54am. Lucas grabbed his shoes and jacket and took a walk. He didn't know where he was going, all he knew was that he needed air. His mind was replaying the whole day over and over again, he couldn't get the kiss out of his mind. It was imprinted in his mind, he was so overcome with emotions in the moment and he did something stupid. Lucas didn't want to hurt her, but he could feel that he was going to. Lucas looked up and saw that he was at Maya's window. Shit, Lucas thought to himself. He knocked on the window and he saw the curtains move and as they opened he saw Maya was in her robe and her hair was all over the place. She rolled her eyes as she opened the window and let him in. "May I help you?" Maya said, retreating back to her bed. Lucas didn't answer her question all he did was close in on her and began standing her up, he cupped her face and kissed her. Maya quickly began kissing him back, she wrapped her around him and they both fell back on the bed.