Him (A mafia story)

Chapter 29

Nikolai's arm had been wrapped securely around my waist since we'd walked out the front doors hours ago.

Even then, as we stood under the black sky on the
grounds of his large estate his grip never loosened. I
looked up to him in concern as the first drops of rain started to fall. It was as if the sky was mourning the loss of Nikolai's mother, something he hadn't seemed to be doing.

It had been two weeks since Dante Corinthos' men
killed his mother, kidnapped me and shot me. I stopped the vivid memory of watching Julia die in front of me from replaying in my head for the thousandth time since it all happened. I blamed myself. Nikolai assured me that I couldn't have done anything to save his mother but there was nothing he could do to convince me that this wasn't my fault.

I turned my attention back to the funeral and another tear fell from my eye and rolled down my cheek as I watched Julia's coffin get lowered into the ground. I had never seen more people from the mafia in one place before. A few women were present, but the crowd was made up mostly of stone faced men, young and old, who had come to mourn the death of a loved one. Julia Alexios had been loved by everyone she'd met.

After the ceremony, it seemed like everyone there wanted to talk to Nikolai. I tried to slip out of his hold for a reprieve but his grip only tightened around my waist as he continued to speak to funeral goers. Another thirty minutes passed before Nikolai finally excused himself from the crowd and led me back towards the house. The five minute walk from the Alexios family cemetery back to the house was made in silence.

"Nikolai." I finally said, once we'd reached the privacy of his bedroom. "Are you alright?"

He dropped his arm from around me and dropped himself onto the bed, tiredly. "No, but I will be." He answered honestly. I felt my heart break a little more at his admittance. He sat up and beckoned for me to come closer.

"Nikolai, I'm so, so sorry." I mumbled for the hundredth time, letting out a choked sob.

He immediately stood and wrapped his arms around me.

"No. Don't do this to yourself, it's not your fault. It's his." He assured me. "I'm going to make him pay for what her did to her. What he did to us."

His hand travelled from my back to my stomach, his
fingers grazing the gauze that covered my side on the way. His thumb traced small circles over my abdomen where, by some miracle, a second heart still beat. When the doctors told me that if the bullet had been even a centimeter to the left, my child wouldn't have made it, I'd burst into tears. I'd never been more grateful for something in my entire life. I had spent four hours on the operating table as the doctors had worked together to put my insides back together. That in itself, had been risky for
the tiny life growing inside of me.

It was needless to say that when I'd gone back to the maternity clinic to check up on the little bean's well being that my doctor had been furious with me. Dr. Noone had very clearly told me to stay out of stressful situations and I had went and gotten myself shot. Nikolai had barely touched me since I'd gotten home from the hospital, save for a few chaste kisses and gentle hugs. I was pretty sure
that he was terrified of accidentally making my injuries worse and risking the baby's life.

Now that I was in his arms, I reveled in his touch. I leaned into him and wrapped my arms around him. "I haven't seen you smile in weeks." I whispered.

"You haven't been smiling either." He whispered back, pressing a gentle kiss to my lips.

I tried to force a smile, but it felt more like a grimace.

"Why haven't you cried?" I couldn't help but blurt out. The question had been haunting me for two weeks now.