Victim of Love

Desiderium Animae

The relationship he'd craved and then coveted, fell apart. In the dawn of the end, there was nothing he could rightly blame but himself. Regulus knew full well what his lover had given up, would give up for him. Severus was just that kind of guy and the worst part is that he knew. he knew how people perceived him and he took advantage of it. but No matter how hard Regulus tried, he knew he couldn't selfishly hold on to him as he wanted.

They'd screamed, hit, and fought each other like there was no tomorrow. Did he feel guilty for beating his boyfriend? Of course he did; Guilt would not tame the all-encompassing jealousy and rage that came. Sometimes he felt like it wasn't even himself in control of his own body but there wasn't much for him to do. He wished he could blame the Black family's madness but that wasn't true. There was just something so pleasant about the tear-stained, heartbroken face of Severus Prince. He'd relish in the hand-shaped bruises marring that pale, moonlit skin. Regulus was not a bad person, but he knew, and one day, Severus would too.

When he left, Regulus hoped Severus would be devastated. That Severus would spend every waking moment thinking of him, that he'd not eat or sleep or dream a moment without Regulus. Was that fucking toxic of him? Definitely. In the end, Regulus would never know.

He would however, know how he died. Regulus could recall the time leading up to it clear as glass. After one of their usual rows, Severus huddled up against the wall glaring death at him as he paced. Normally he couldn't recognise why they fought but this time they'd argued about the dark mark and joining its creator. Severus had refused a once in a lifetime recruitment from Lucius Malfoy himself and regulus couldn't understand why. Lucius Malfoy was the son of Voldemorts right hand man, so to be sponsored by him of all people was telling. It's not that Regulus wanted to hurt him but Severus deserved it for embarrassing him.

After all was said and done and Severus had stopped his crying, Regulus went up to bed to sleep away the guilt. when he awoke and came down stairs, there was no sign of Severus; He waited hours at first but hours turned to days, turned to weeks, turned to months. By the time he was ready to give up, he finally understood why Severus refused to join Voldemort. It wasn't his intention to join a monster, yet that's what he did. Voldemort, a freak, not even by nature but by magic.

It must have seemed funny to the gods, betraying the "man" you lost your one true love for. Regulus blamed himself. So like a fool, he went to a cave with only 'kreacher the obedient'. Like a fool, he drank an unknown potion from a stray basin. Like a fool, he again drank dirty water from the lake and like a fool, he ordered away his only support with a vow of secrecy and silence. Like a fool, in an unknown cave in 1979, Regulus Arcturus Black lived no more. But Regulus knew, and nothing could take that from him. Not even death.

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It had been a few weeks since Severus subsequent entrance and exit from Sirius life. Normally, he wouldn't care but that was before Sirius found out the truth of things. 'The breakup' as they'd dubbed it and so much more. He also understood why Kreacher both hated him and worshipped Severus; To think Sirius would be an uncle at only twenty-three was shocking and finding out why Regulus didn't care of his own fatherhood literally nauseated him; Worse, was finding out his own brother had lied to him.

Why would anyone beg their lover to join some sick megalomaniac? Sirius would never understand. The sickest part was Regulus knowing that person to be pregnant and still doing it. While Sirius could believe that his brother did it, he just couldn't understand why. He felt both betrayed by Severus own actions and his whole families. Typical of them to cover up the blood-line connection to a half-blood, because Severus might be a lord and a Prince but his blood was still steeped in mud.

And now, Sirius knew.

The eldest Black paced in front of his floo, unsure what to do. He hadn't been able to contact Lord Prince or any of the mans family and he hadn't the guts to tell his oldest and longest friends. He knew he had too and it was daunting, especially with Lily being four months pregnant. But Sirius pulled up his man-hood and floo'd to the Potters home.

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Lily Potter was sitting in the lounge area of her home when Sirius arrived, they weren't expecting him but he was always a pleasant surprise. After a moment of tense silence, she tilted her head and asked if he wanted to talk.

"Not yet, I will, just not yet"

"Okay, do you want me to call the others?" she asked tentatively

"No it's ok, I'll do it. I need the distraction." He replied with a pathetic smile

Sirius floo'd Remus and Peter, asking them to come over and when they arrived they chatted casually till James returned from work. James beamed bewildered at his guest and looked to his wife in askance. She smiled back and gestured subtly to Sirius. Her husband nodded and joined his friends.

"Hey guys, what's the occasion?" James asked as Sirius grimaced.

"Ok, well i guess i can't put it off anymore huh." Sirius replied and sighed looking at each of his friends. Each friend reacted with encouragement.

"This might take some time so please just listen without interruption, okay?" He asked with a hint of vulnerability. His friends replied with assent.

"So I'm sure you remember Lord Prince from the baby-shower and we all remember he dated my brother. Well I found out a few weeks ago that Regulus was abusive towards him which should just end at that but I also found out that Severus was pregnant at the time. Actually, Lily, you might want to leave" Sirius looked to the woman in question who raised her brow and jutted out her chin in defiance.

"All right then, carrying on. So he was pregnant which should mean the abuse would stop except it didn't. From what Regulus told me, he only got worse." The faces of his crowd turned green with disgust as he pushed forth.

"Lord Prince surprisingly carried full term and had a set of twins which is great. Apparently my whole family knew about it but they tried to erase all existence of them. That's not really the most interesting part" Sirius took a deep sigh and carried on

"Regulus admitted that it was technically my fault and before you interrupt, I know that's not true but his excuse is a part of this whole convoluted story."

"Shut up. you are not the reason your brother is fucking prick!" Peter hissed.

"He's right, I just. It doesn't make sense" Remus agreed. .

"Hold on, this gets worse."Sirius pursed his lips.

"So it actually goes back years. Way back in school, Do you recall the 'soulmate trend'?" each agreed

"Well Prince didn't want to do it back then or ever I guess. So back in our fourth year, Regulus performed it on him while he was asleep. It said Me." Lily laughed humourlessly with frustration.

"Regulus thought he could change the results if he seduced and loved him. But every year he re-did it and nothing changed. Suddenly Regulus realised he was going to be a dad and he freaked out. with Prince refusing to do as he told Regulus snapped. That's what he told me at least. He also told me the abuse started when we were sixteen, so after I left the family. Regulus has never met his own kids and honestly, I don't blame the guy but it's all so sickening."

"That's heavy, pads" Lily said as she reached an arm out to pat him reassuringly.

"I know, and i don't put too much stock into the whole soulmate thing but i certainly want to meet my nieces or nephews or both, but i can understand if he doesn't want to come round my place." James heaved a deep sigh and stood.

"Send him a letter and see if he responds. If he doesn't then no harm done" Sirius thanked his friends and returned to his childhood home feeling lighter than ever. James suggested he write a letter and send it. So that's what he'd do.

No matter what anyone said, Sirius had done his best.