Tell Them This When I Die

You Feel Like Home

Adam sits in his car outside Sarah's house and dials his mother's number.

"Adam, honey? You haven't called in ages!"

Adam shifts in his seat. "Life's just been busy, mom."

"Well, life gets busy, Adam. But you still need to call your mother." She moves something—it sounds like a pan. "Are you going to come upstate soon? Bring your girlfriend from the news. And Daphne! Gosh, she must be growing like a weed. They always do at that age."

Adam feels tears sting behind his sinuses. He doesn't know what to say.

"Adam, honey?"

Adam takes a deep breath and looks to the roof of the car. "I...I don't know if I can anytime soon."

"You should make time. I should get to see my granddaughter."

Adam can hear her pushing around pots and pans. He can feel his nose sting. He keeps his eyes on the roof. He takes a deep breath. He knows she can hear it.

"Is everything okay at work, Adam?" she asks.

Adam shakes his head. He purses his lips.

"Adam?"

"Some guy put his girlfriend in the hospital," Adam says. "For a week. Broke her jaw and her nose. She won't make a statement."

Adam's mother is quiet for a moment. She puts down the pan. "Sounds awful," she says softly. "That must be hard for you."

That must be hard for you. It's always hard for him. I'm sorry you got in the middle, Adam. I'm sorry you had to see that. I'm sorry you had to skip your test to drive me to the hospital.

"I just—" Adam cuts off. He can't talk to Carlos. He can't talk to Sarah. He can't talk to anybody. He needs to talk to someone. "She's the girl from the news, mom."

His mother silent again. "She...sorry, Adam. I don't follow."

Adam blinks rapidly. "The girl from the news, mom. The one you think I'm dating. I'm not dating her. But she's the one in the hospital."

His mother shuffles. "That's too bad. She had a lovely face. Very European." She pauses. "I didn't really read the whole article, honey. Is there more to it?"

Yes, Adam thinks. I had sex with her, then was late to my daughter's birthday. I lost my job, then ignored her calls. She got me my job back and her boyfriend beat her for it. I put her in the hospital. She had a broken nose, a broken jaw, and she got hit because I got in the way. She won't tell the cops anything. She's you, mom.

"No," Adam says.

"That job is awful," Adam's mother says. "I never thought you should be an officer. It's too dangerous. You see just awful things."

Adam nods, eyes on the roof. "I'll try to come upstate, mom. I promise."

"Okay, honey. Stay safe. Give Daphne a kiss for me."

Adam ends the call. He takes three deep breaths, then gets out of the car. At the same time as he gets out of the car, Nikolas walks out of the police station, his things in a clear plastic bag. You're going to court, they told him. The officers saw enough. We don't need her statement.

Nikolas calls Eris when he gets into the parking lot. She's curled in her bed, wearing her new Streetheart shirt. Peter is flipping through a car magazine in her living room. Eris has ripped out all the pages with Audis.

Eris reaches onto the nightstand for her phone. She answers it.

"I need a ride from the station," Nikolas tells her. "I have no money for a cab."