Broken (a magcon fanfic)

Chapter 1

Pov Addyson

Tomorrow I have to go to school and face everyone. I can't believe Hayes left me going into the 5th grade for the popular kids. He was really the only one I had. Now he bullies me along with his new "friends". Yes I cut. I have since Hayes left me.

My parents think I am a happy 14 yr old teenager. When truth is I want to die. I ride the bus everyday and Hayes rides my bus. We used to sit with eachother everyday. That changed very fast when Hayes got his first girlfriend. Her name is Chrissa. They have had a big on and off relationship since the 5th grade. Even when they are broken up they sit on the bus together. I really don't understand their relationship.

I started off getting ready for the first day of school by taking a shower. In the shower I cut a bit because I can't cut school and I am not cutting the morning I am going to school. I then picked out a outfit which is just something casual. I no longer cut on my wrists it is too hot in Carolina to be wearing sweatshirts like I did when I first started cutting. Instead I do it on my hips so that I can still wear shorts and a t-shirt. I also wear bracelets on my wrist that I used to cut.

I just picked out a tank top that is tie dye. Then I just got a pair of ripped shorts and white pair of vans I am very simple. Then I got all my bracelets out.

I then got in my pjs and went on my phone. I don't let anyone follow me from school except Hayes brother Nash because he is the only one who can follow me and not bully me. I just follow celebrities on twitter and instagram and stuff. Nash no longer goes to our school and that is when Hayes started bullying me. Nash started online school but I still talk to Nash on snapchat. I snapchatted him good night and I went to bed. Even he doesn't know I cut or am bullied by his brother.

I woke up at about 3 in the morning with tears running down my face. Here we go again. Another panic attack I get to deal with by myself.

I finally fell back asleep at about 4 just to get up at 5:45. I got up and I got ready. I brushed and straightened my hair. I have blonde hair and blue eyes. I brushed my teeth got dressed and I got dressed. I don't eat breakfast. A lot of times I starve myself to feel pretty. I go on purges to loose weight. I decided this next 2 weeks was going to be a purge. That also means I am going to skip gym because you can't do gym on a purge might pass out. ( If you don't know what a purge is it is when you starve yourself on purpose for a certain amount of time). I put on my makeup and waited for my mom to be ready to bring me to the bus stop where Hayes is everyday.

I wear a lot of makeup. I wear heavy heavy foundation to cover the acne I have. Which is very little. I also wear really heavy eyeliner and mascara. I am not emo though or goth don't even say it.

My mom then called me and we left. She dropped me off to the bus stop and there was Hayes and sadly Chrissa. Of course they had to be kissing too.

Thank god the bus was early and I got straight on it and put my head phones in. I listen to music and zoned the world out.

All the sudden I got hit in the back of my head disrupting my music and peace. It was a piece of paper that said," hey druggie overdose and die. No one wants you alive."

I wanted to cry but I didn't. I threw it back at the seat that threw it. I knew who threw it. I knew it was Chrissa. She is the worst out of all of them.

She is the pretty blonde with blue eyes cheer captain. I have never wanted to be that kind of girl. Hayes knows that too.

She thinks I am a druggie but I am not. I think drugs aren't good. I won't lie though. I do drink myself to sleep sometimes. Somehow I have never been caught. I have a feeling someday it will happen though. All my parents will do though is bring my to a doctor or something. I have kept my cutting away from them too. My doctors too and I am shocked.

A few songs later we were finally at school. I went straight to my locker and got my books.

I went straight to my english class and sat in the back row. I wasn't going to sit near anyone. Or so I hoped. I was the first one there. Then of course with my luck Hayes and Chrissa walk in and she sits right next to me with Hayes on her other side.

I sat and listened I guess. I never have been very good in school either. I just wanted to get out of the hell hole people call school. I then had math, then science, then social studies. I then had art. Thank god. I love art. I am good at it too. I then had chorus and then I had lunch. Next I had spanish then a study hall and then I got to leave.

I got to the study hall and sat in the back with my head phones on and I got all my homework done. I was surprised I didn't get much shit. I wasn;t really bullied or anything. It will come though it will. I know it will.

I got on the bus with my head phones still in. I just sat there listening to music and Chrissa came up to the empty seat next to me and tapped my shoulder. She then said," I hope you know I hate stoners. Get a fucking life drugs will kill you."

I put my head phones back in and rolled my eyes. She gave me a dirty look then left. I was so happy she left. I got off at the bus stop and walked home. My mom didn't get home until later. Same with my dad.

I got home and locked the doors. I went up to my room and cried. I had a good hour to cry and cut. That was exactly what I did. I heard my mom's car pull in and I went into my bathroom and put cold water on my face. I dried my face and my face only looked like I was washing my face. Not like I was crying. She always thinks I washed my face because my makeup is always gone. She has no clue what goes on and I am glad she doesn't.

I went down stairs and told my mom I wasn't hungry and she made dinner for her and my dad. I am an only child and I like it because I get whatever I want. The thing is I am not spoiled. I think it is because I am not a girly girl. My room is blue and tye dye. It is so clue. Hayes and I did it. My parents painted my room blue and then Hayes and I took water guns and squirted two of my four walls. I also have tye dye sheets and blanket.

While my parents ate I went in the pool and just floated on a giant tube we have. I also had a drink of lemonade.

I then went up to my room and took a shower. In the shower my hips stung. I like the pain though. It feels like the pain is leaving my body. I got out and it was already 7. I knew what that meant. I was going to bed. If I didn't I would have enough sleep for the day. I mean with all the panic attacks I always have.

I laid in my bed with my phone while I was snapchatting Nash and I told him I took my melatonin so I could pass out at any moment. I always worn him. While snapchatting him sleep slowly took over my body. With that I was out.