The Demon Queen

The Role to Maintain

"I apologise for my carelessness, Sakura-sama. Forgive me," Kokushibou said, still in a full bow on the floor, not glancing up at towards me for even a moment.

"It's fine. Rise," I said. I watched as Kokushibou stood up, noticing how his hair was damp. "You washed up quick."

He nodded. "Yes. A short bath was more to my liking. But I'm not dressed properly."

"Well, once you feel you're ready, go to Muzan and stay with him. Occupy him. Don't worry about getting the drinks. I'll bring them over."

Kokushibou's eyes widened a little. "I shouldn't be going to Muzan-sama while you fetch drinks, Sakura-sama."

"Are you questioning my decision?" I asked him with a raise of my eyebrow.

He bowed his head. "No."

I paused. The words I just spoke repeated in my mind. I couldn't believe what I had just said, and how I said it.

I sounded like Muzan.

And it disgusted me.

"Kokushibou, forget what I said and just go to Muzan as soon as you can and occupy him so I can get time to myself away from him," I said. "If you want to bring drinks yourself, then bring drinks yourself. I don't care. I just don't want to bother with him right now."

Kokushibou looked at me oddly. "You seem ... angry with him."

"I'm tired of him and maybe I am angry with him. I've dealt with him long enough to be able to be angry with him."

Kokushibou stared at me, silent.

"So, throw on a kimono and go to him," I said and pointed behind myself in the direction I came from, towards the room Muzan was waiting in.

Kokushibou remained silent for a moment. His six eyes then blinked all at once and he rooted his posture into the floor with his feet. "Sakura-sama," he said. "If I may dare step a toe out of line, as you always suggest we be more casual to one another, I would suggest one thing of you. If you are angry with your husband, be angry with him, but please, keep it in your thoughts to yourself."

"In my thoughts to myself?"

"To not disturb the function of the household you and Muzan-sama have built," Kokushibou clarified. "It would be beneficial to us all if you don't outwardly express your frustrations with him."

I couldn't say that I was surprised to hear such come from Kokushibou. But still, I had hoped he would have reacted differently.

He didn't have to agree, and I never would have expected him to agree, but at least if he supported me.

If someone supported me.

Someone who would have a side of loyalty and camaraderie with me, rather than viewing Muzan as the top master.

Even if he was the top master, because he made us all.

He made us all.

"Sakura-sama, forgive me for my --"

"I understand," I said.

Kokushibou appeared a bit startled by my sudden interruption. 

"Everything will be as it has been, and I'll be the strong one to put up with him, even when he makes me want to explode and scream." I took a deep breath. "I'll get a couple drinks for he and I, because I told him I would and he's expecting it. Then you bring more when you're dressed properly, and all will go according to plan to leave Muzan satisfied. When you come to celebrate your brother's death with us, because that's the idea Muzan had, I'll play my part as it should be played, all to his expectations, until a new day comes tomorrow." I walked past Kokushibou in the direction I was going in before I had bumped into him.

I sensed him turn around and felt his eyes watching me from behind.

I stopped. "Do you think it's the scars that make me more irritable?" I asked without turning to look at him. "It's not the scars. I don't care that they're permanent."

Kokushibou didn't say anything.

My body started to tense up. I restrained myself from tightening my hands into fists. "Kokushibou?"

A beat passed before he spoke.

"Yes, Sakura-sama?"

I took a deep breath. "Would I have defeated your brother that day, if I had fought him instead of Muzan?"

Kokushibou said nothing, but I could sense from him that my question made him very uncomfortable.

"Those who surpass the Oyakata-sama surpass all below him."

I was quiet. A smirk started to form on my face.

"I believe you understand my answer, Sakura-sama," he then added.

I raised my chin and stared into the distance ahead of me. A beat of silence passed as I felt my heart pound in my chest and echo throughout my limbs. Suddenly, as the vibration left my fingers and toes, a light snicker broke past my lips. "Kokushibou, your answer is precisely why the past 60 years never were and never will be your fault." Sensing his distaste for the direction our conversation had led, an impulse tugged my body forward to continue moving away from him. "But blame yourself if you want. Blame yourself for eternity," I said as I continued to walk away. "Do whatever it is Muzan expects of you."

I left him there and disappeared to get the drinks.