I Loved Her First

I Loved Her First (Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington)

Look at the two of you dancin' that way

Lost in the moment and each other's face

So much in love, you're alone in this place

Like there's nobody else in the world

Usually, William "Billy" Hargrove wasn't the type of guy to stand in a corner and watch a party unfold in front of him, but tonight was an exception, champagne glass in hand as he watched his daughter Susanna have her first dance with her now-husband, the other wedding guests and Steve crowded around the dance floor.

All the lights had a soft warm glow in various colours and they reflected off the sequins on his baby girl's dress, him smiling at her antics while he was far away, laughing as she spun like she was a child again, totally carefree and independent. He couldn't believe sometimes that she was 20, married to her high school sweetheart and in college.

Honestly, if he and Steve had never had her, the world would be a different place.

I was enough for her not long ago

I was her number one, she told me so

And she still means the world to me, just so you know

So be careful when you hold my girl

Susanna has thankfully inherited most of Max's traits as well as her kindness, as even when she was a really small child, she practically treated everyone like they were the best thing to ever be on the Earth and he as well as Steve couldn't be more blessed with such a perfect child the second go around with Max being their surrogate after the first failed.

Time changes everything, life must go on

And I'm not gonna stand in your way

She was also their pride and joy, a stage 5 clinger of a little girl that wanted to be with them, wherever they were, any second of the day, even up to her tweens, which kind of rocked Billy's world as well as Steve's secretly after having no one really love them before like that.

But I loved her first, I held her first

And a place in my heart will always be hers

From the first breath she breathed

When she first smiled at me

Now, 20 years on from the first time she'd been placed in his arms, wide-eyed and unafraid of the people that she'd come to know as her parents, she was a grown woman and living her life away from them, despite her young age and he honestly didn't know how to feel about it still, even if it had been 2 years and slightly more since she'd officially left home.

I knew the love of a father runs deep

And I prayed that she'd find you someday

But it's still hard to give her away

I loved her first

He'd wanted her to have everything. Fall in love, get married, have a family, of course he did.

He just didn't expect the effect of it happening to cause such a reaction from him, having been openly crying moments before while having a cigarette, heart hurting, which wasn't new for him exactly, just not in the same way as now seemed.

Billy, even when being king hit by his father, /never/ cried. He didn't cry when he finally got Steven and Max's forgiveness for being a terrible human being, he didn't cry when Steve told him he loved him, not when they got married or even when Susanna was born, him being the first person to hold her when she was freshly cleaned and wrapped up.