The Impostor

I'm so honored to announce that I've been selected to share a personal mental health experience and words of encouragement on behalf of Maybelline's #BraveTogether Mental Health Awareness Month campaign. This is super exciting for me as a mental health advocate, because I know firsthand that sharing our story and words of encouragement helps others feel understood by building a community of support and inspiration. So, this #mentalhealthawareness month, let's be #bravetogether. I challenge you to take part in this amazing campaign by writing your own entry. For every comment, Wattpad and Maybelline will donate $1 to a youth-focused mental health organization. Your courage can change someone's life, even yours.

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Sometimes I look in the mirror and don't recognize the face staring at me. Who is this fraud reflecting in my eyes? It can't be me. I'm a failure. A nobody who doesn't deserve the support and recognition others give. There's more than one version of me. The writer. The therapist. The sister. The daughter. The friend. And none of them feel like me. How can I be a real writer? My stories don't have millions of views. Agents have ghosted me for years, and sometimes I write too much dialogue and tell when I should be showing. And me, a therapist? Psh, please. Yeah, I studied my butt off in college and finished my master's degree with two clinical internships under my belt and a nearly perfect GPA (exhaustion from working while in school caused me to sleep through an exam which made me feel like a failure long after I graduated). I even have about five years of experience practicing therapy at a range of facilities with diverse clients of all ages, but I got my master's online, and I haven't been practicing nearly as long as Jane with the bigger office and plethora of clinical licenses. Not to mention, I need therapy myself. So, I can't be a real therapist that actually helps people and makes a difference in their lives. Who do I think I am? And my friends and family? They're only proud of me because I put on my masks to be who they want me to be, right? If they knew how I really feel inside every day and how much I procrastinate and want to give up, I bet they'd be disappointed. Or so impostor syndrome tells me.

Despite what your mind and heart might tell you, you deserve the praise. You work hard, and yes, sometimes working hard means getting out of bed that day. You'll never reach that sense of fulfilment if you refuse to allow yourself to be proud of your accomplishments—no matter how big or small. Celebrate the little things. Every day is a success. There will always be someone that seems to be happier, smarter, faster, more popular, more experienced, more talented, more educated, and more successful than you, but that doesn't override all you've overcome. You have a lot to offer in every stage of your life. Don't let feeling like an impostor turn you into someone you truly don't recognize.

One way you can overcome impostor syndrome is by acknowledging your worries and doubts then flip them around to your advantage. I'm not a fan of the word normal, but it really is normal to be anxious. Even the most confident people doubt themselves at times (androids might be an exception). The anxiety means that your goals and dreams are really important to you. Use that fear of failure to fuel your passion. Another way is to be proud of every step you take. And I mean every. Every action we take leads to something bigger in the future. As a neurodivergent person with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, sometimes I'm proud of myself for getting out of bed, brushing my teeth, and getting dressed for the day, because some days that's the only thing stopping me from going to work or hanging out with friends and family. If you're always chasing one big goal, you'll doubt yourself every step of the way and you might not ever feel satisfied with your life. So, acknowledge the day-to-day achievements.

Two words: take breaks. Working hard is okay in moderation, but overworking can lead to burnout before you reach your goals. If you're always working for the future, are you ever really alive in the present? Take time to enjoy the life you're working so hard for. Go for a walk. Read for fun. Go out with your friends. Learn a TikTok dance. FaceTime a loved one. Pop a bowl of popcorn and watch a bad Netflix movie. Cuddle with your pet. Listen to new music. Most importantly, breathe. If you need support or a reminder of how great you are, talk to someone about your feelings. If you're feeling like a fraud at your job or school, talk to a trusted coworker or mentor. They might relate more than you realize. Just think you wouldn't be on that payroll or at that school if you didn't deserve to be there.

Lastly, affirm yourself with positivity and authenticity. Why are we so harsh to ourselves? Be kind to yourself. Love your reflection and the sum of each part of you. Shower yourself with the words of encouragement and compliments you give others. Being your own worst enemy takes a devastating toll on your mental health. Like I mentioned in the first paragraph, sometimes I look in the mirror and think who is this person? Yet, most days I look in the mirror to remind myself who I am and why I'm worthy. I am Raven: a writer, therapist, friend, sister, daughter, and so much more, and I give each part of me the best I can. Now, that's something to be proud of.