In Love With THIS Lunatic <Deadpool x Reader>

<Chapter ...>

Deadpool takes a seat in a cushioned and fancy armchair by a fireplace, wearing a red velvet robe over his suit and crossing his legs. "Hey, you beautiful readers, it's me, your-as you heathens would say, 'zaddy' Deadpool." He greeted with a smile under his mask at the readers. Reaching over to pour himself a glass of bourbon, "Now, you guys might be wondering, 'Why... The fuck nuggets, are we even here? It's been six-almost SEVEN, fricking years! Is this a new chapter or not??' Well, that's the same question that I have!" He exclaimed while pulling a gold rope down to pull a curtain up to reveal the tied up author, "Now! Explain yourself!" He demanded while drinking the bourbon through his mask.

Bellynta rolled her eyes as she strained against her restraints, "Well, I'll have you know, Deadpool, I've been very busy the last six years." She retorted.

"Doing what exactly?" He asked with a slight head tilt. She bit her cheek as she stared at him and at the readers.

"Well... Um... Life. You know..." She said slowly as she looked back at Deadpool and he shook his head.

"That, my lovely author, has been your excuse for every book that you update every millennia. Let me guess, life has been an absolute shit show the last six years and now recently you had turned 20 back in April, life is STILL shitty?"

"I mean... Yeah... I'm starting to work two jobs to make more money. I'm trying to spend more time with friends and family. I'm planning to go back and start over at a new university in the fall. I've been falling in and out of fandoms. I also didn't like how I wrote my stories back in 2015-2016. I dunno, I just kinda based this book off the video game Deadpool at the time." She explained while Deadpool nodded along as she spoke, "And because of that I kind of lost interest this book even after the first chapter, I couldn't really come up with anything for you and (Y/n). And... I'd like to apologize to you and the readers." Bellynta sighed with a soft frown.

"Awe, that's so... Sweet of you in a way." Deadpool said with a squint of his masked eyes, "Well, I accept. Even though you kinda just left me to rot here for six years."

"Yeahhh that's my bad," She sighed and pouted, "Although you are fun to write."

He let out a feign gasp, "I KNOW right?? Because you're writing me as the Ryan Reynolds Deadpool. Man! What a hunk!" He claimed while fanning himself, "Thinking about that man is turning me on a lil bit." He said as he looked under his robe and nodded, "Yep, that's a hard on—."

"Deadpool," Bellynta whined with her nose scrunched up, "Please, not now." He held his hands up defensively.

"Can you blame me? Ryan Reynolds is literally the embodiment of squishy and hard goodness. Because he's just soooo," He groaned and shook his head, "God I really need to think about something else besides his rock hard abs."

"Maybe think about how we're gonna deal with this," Bellynta suggested as he snapped his fingers at her.

"I agree, so, what are we going to do, our dear- slightly dumb, author?" He asked sweetly while clasping his hands together on his lap. She bites her lip softly in deep thought as she strained a bit in her restraints.

"Umm... I guess we just discontinue this book until I figure out what I wanna do?" She said in a questioning manner.

"SERIOUSLY??" Deadpool exclaimed in shock, "After waiting for almost seven long years, you're just gonna discontinue this book? Are you shitting me???" The author let out a annoyed huff at the antihero and rolled her eyes.

"You figure out what we should do then! Because obviously my decision isn't the right one." She retorted as he clapped his hands together.

"Gladly!" He deadpanned before shooting up from his seat where his robe was blown off of him the background changes to a war zone. Bellynta looked around in confusion before looking at the mercenary, who was suddenly standing on top of a hill of dead corpses of bad guys in a heroic pose, the readers wear sexy American flag bathing suits while surrounding him in seductive poses. He flashed the guns and rifles he had on him, laughing maniacally. "NOW THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" He hollered as an explosion goes off behind them.

The author shook her head in distaste, "Not... What I had in mind... But whatever." She sighed with an eye roll before looking back at you readers, "Anyways—" An explosion from a military cuts her off and she frowned, "Anyways, I'm sorry guys for not updating. Writer's block and life has been booty. So, yeah, we'll see where all this goes." She said as she looked at Deadpool as he shot a bazooka, shaking her head again before looking back at you guys, "I've been updating my newer books and whatnot. I'm also open to roleplaying because I'm bored out of my mind and roleplaying helps me keep my mind off of things. So check out my newer stories and all that. It's currently 7:12 a.m. In real life me hasn't slept at all this night and she's literally about to pass out." She said with a yawn and droopy eyelids, "So yeah, hopefully you guys enjoyed this little authors note, I wanted to make it a little entertaining and I hoped it was good." Bellynta gave you all a sleepy and soft smile, "So thank you guys for the support and everything. And I'll see you guys until then."

Deadpool throws a soft blanket over the author as she laid down on the ground, still tied up, and falls asleep. He waves at you all, "Hopefully we'll meet again!" He said with a smile before sprinting out of frame.