Winning His War

45

Patrick's POV

An uncontrollable smile crossed my face at the sight in front of me. I should honestly be used to it by now, I've come home to it for a few days now but every time I see it I can't help but smile.

Andrew and Jem lay in Jem's bed, Andrew's head on Jem's chest. Andrew is awake as some documentary plays in the background but Jem is passed out while his dogs lay lazily at the end of the bed. Jem's arm is slung around Andrew's back in order to keep him in place after him waking up once alone and having a fit over it.

Ever since Jem moved back into his wing this was how they spent their day while I was at work. Andrew had called off every day so far to make sure Jem didn't push himself and Jem pretended to be annoyed but after seeing this sight for so long it was clear that Jem didn't really mind it.

Jem was honestly looking so much better. Color was slowly starting to build up in his cheeks. The weight he had lost in the hospital was coming back and the bags under his eyes was slowly starting to go away. His blonde roots were beginning to grow out but all of us were in a silent agreement to not bring it up until he did in hopes we could get him to grow it back out again.

A few days off from his own work and Jem already looked so much more healthy than any day before that.

Stress still hung over him from not being in the loop but since Dev took his phones and laptop he's had no choice but to ignore work. It made me wonder how healthy he could be if he just quit the gang all together.

I had been having that thought a lot here lately. If a few days off from the job made your anxiety hit rock bottom; it might be a sigh that the job isn't worth doing.

I had been so close to bringing it up to him a lot lately but every time I was about to do it i backed out last second, not knowing if I should expect the asshole treatment or an explosive episode that could end up hurting him.

"How long has he been asleep," I asked when Andrew finally noticed I was there.

"a few hours. He'll be up soon." Andrew all but had Jem's sleep schedule down to a science and was almost never wrong but I guess that would be expected constant monitoring.

"How has today been?"

"He woke up at 5 like normal but didn't eat breakfast, i think the meds are making him nauseous; might be time to wean him off of them. He stayed awake until about 2 I guess and has been asleep since. No nightmares, no anger flashes." That was a relief.

Dev had warned us when Jem first got shot that when he woke up he might end up going into a funk and we had been ready for it but as the days went on the least we are starting to expect it, wishfully thinking that he might not fall into the low.

I only nod as I slip off my shoes and crawl into the bed for a few minutes before going to make dinner. Jem doesn't stir at the movement but within a few minutes, like Andrew predicted, his nose scrunched up in distaste for the light in the room before forcing his eyes open tiredly.

"Good morning sleeping beauty," I teased as I stared down at him sweetly but a scowl only covered his face in annoyance.

"Fuck off," he cussed as he pulled Andrew a bit closer before playing with his hair.

"Picking favorites I see," I teased. Our ribs barely brushed against each other but when I moved back slightly his breath hitched. "I guess if you have Andrew you won't need me."  I wasn't able to get up from the bed to pretend to leave before Jem's left hand wrapped around the collar of my uniform and pulled me into his side with ease.

I stared at him, trying and probably failing to hide my shock at the strength he had already gained back.

"I swear, you're so sensitive sometimes," he scoffed but put his head on my chest anyway.

Silence filled the room for only a short time before I couldn't;t help it anymore.

"What did the doctor say today?"

One of the doctors from the hospital has been doing check ups daily but this one was supposed to determine if he could come off bedrest yet.

"I can come off bed rest but I can't go back to work yet," Jem said with a blank face but a small smile on his face. "He took out the stitches but I still have to be careful to not rip it again."

"He's conveniently leaving out the part where he has to take plenty of breaks when walking long distances and that it's not recommended that he leave the house," Andrew scolds but Jem only waves him off.

"Minor details."

"Yea it's a minor detail until you put yourself back in the hospital."

"You are both so dramatic," he scoffed as he slowly pushed his chest up, making both of our head fall on the bed.

'Where do you think you're going?"

"The kitchen; I'm hungry."

He doesn't bother saying anything else as he slowly eased off the bed before carefully walking out of the room.

It felt all too familiar.

I sat at the breakfast bar like I must have done a hundred times not as Jem and Andrew move around the kitchen, Jem precisely and carefully, never wasting time on unnecessary movement; Andrew fumbling around at random, looking as if he were drowning on dry land, honestly hurting more than helping but Jem still didn't seem to mind as his never ending patience made an appearance.

Before long dinner was ready, Dev and Barrett came home nit long after and scolded their friend door being out of bed before Jem tried to convince them he was cleared to do so. Neither of them beloved him until Andrew spoke up about the truth and even then they accused Jem of bribing him somehow.

The argument had ended with Jem throwing a pillow at Barrett and claiming Barrett could throw one back due to Jem's still healing state that he conveniently complained was hurting, though the spot he claimed was hurting was on the other side of his stomach.

The somber and dark feeling that had been surrounding this wing ever since Jem moved back in was gone within a matter of minutes and I had to admit, I had missed the lightness and joking mood that seemed to seep out of the walls here.

And as happy as I was to have the light mood back, the more weary I became.

I wanted to cling onto this moment and never move past it. I didn't want to think about the day Jem went back to work, or the day he made us leave his house, or the day one of my officers looked a little too into the biggest gang in the state. I didn't want to have to worry about the next depressive episode or the next sleepless night.

I wanted this moment. This happiness.

And it hurt knowing it was only a matter of time before it was over again, possibly even for good this time.

Last updated May 2, 2022