clarity

wake up, school, work, repeat

Wake up, school, work, repeat. But what if you didn't, what if you did what everyone thinks about but never does. This is that story.

My bones are aching as I roll over. I remember to look at my phone, I grapple at it and hear a thud. I Groan and bend over the side of my bed grabbing for my phone. The bright light presses on my eyes. When I squint I can just barely see, I got a text.

Bennie: Where are you?
Mark: In my bed, why
Bennie: Look at the time
My eyes go wide.
Mark: oh no!
Bennie: ya coach is gonna kill you if you miss another practice! Get down here!

My mind blurs.
I watch as my phone turns off.
Lay my head down and fall into a dream land.

A minute later I hear a knocking at my door. I urge myself to get up. Regretting not putting on socks, I walk on the cold wood floor to the door. Too lazy to care, I open the door with my eyes closed.

Suddenly I'm on the floor.
Bennie is on top of me.
"You're an idiot!" He yells, his wet hair dripping in my face.
"Not more than yo..." I say yoning.
"Yes... yes more than me, coach is going to kick you off the team!"
"Calm down. If he kicks me he won't even have a team."
"The boys aren't going to take your side this time."
I look at him and he pulls me up. What if the boys don't have my back, what would I do then? It's been two years and I have always been the team captain, but what if? My heart starts pounding in my chest.
"Dude are you ok?" he grabs my shoulders, "you haven't been acting like yourself."
What if I'm not myself, what if I'm just a hologram? Then this doesn't matter, right?

"We're not friends any more... your feet stink and you never consider what I want." This sounds more like a break up than anything, but my muddled brain is to asleep to care.
"Mike I'm just saying you don't seem like yourself."
"Well I am myself and I say goodbye."
"I guess I have to get to class anyway so... bye."
I don't say anything and he walks out. Glancing back at me he hesitates and then leaves.