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I remember the day I met him,
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it was the first day of 6th grade,
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he seemed like a nice person. I figured we would be friends.
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I was right, we went canoing on the river behind his house.
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We played ping pong in his basement,
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we camped out in tents in his backyard.
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I could feel myself falling for him
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I was really scared, at first
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I was so young and I didn't understand how any of that worked at that age
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I just knew that he was cute, and I liked the way his hand felt as it held mine
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I liked the way my name sounded coming from his mouth
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I liked the look in his eyes when he laughed.
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I was 13, he told me it was okay, that everyone was doing it
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he told me that it wasn't cheating on his girlfriend because it was "differen't plumbing"
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I told him I didn't want to
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He told me that if I didn't he would tell everyone I had a crush on him
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I did not like the feeling of his hands as they pinned my wrists to the ground
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when I pictured our first kiss it did not look like this
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I did think I would cry but I did not think this would be the reason for the tears. I imagined I would be happy, I thought I would be excited, I dreamt I would want it
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it was a nightmare as the tears rolled down my face and his tonge forced its way between my lips.
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I don't want to be here
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we were camping in his back yard this is supposed to be fun and I am not having fun
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I did not like the look in his eyes as he laughed and slid my pants down, he said he liked the way I looked in the moonlight. He said he liked the way my body looked in the moonlight
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It is no longer my body, he told me that I was his and that he would protect me, but he is the one I needed to be protected from
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I should have listened to my mom, I should've stayed at home and watched a movie with my sister or played a game with my brother
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he is on top of me laughing and smiling like this is a game to him but I am not playing the game and if I did play the game I am surely loosing
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The Words That Made Me
PoetryA collection of texts, poems, letters, journal entries. Contained within these pages are the words that shaped me as a person, they created and were the product of my experiences, actions, and emotions. TW: Sexual Violence, Forced Intimacy, Homophob...