Lost in your Eyes (ON-HOLD)

Prologue

“What do you want!” I yelled at him. “Please! leave me alone! Please!” I said. I can't control my emotion, I don't want to say something bad out of anger, because I can't handle my emotion. I don't want to hurt him too, just because he hurt me.

“Please. Let me explain, huh. Babe...” he said, almost begging. “Hm. Let me explain..” he said gently, while holding my shoulder.

I didn't say anything. I just stare at him and sigh. Thinking that this relationship is not working, will not succeed. I tried to understand our situation. I tried, and tried, and try, but still not working. Does it still worthy? Remembering my memories with him is to painful. I don't want to see him anymore, even looking at his face, as if I'm looking at the scenario that I saw in his house, they're both naked, the girl is cuddling at him.

“Please, let's just..” Hindi ko alam kung kayang kong sabihin sakaniya, para akong sinasakal bawat salitang lumalabas sa bibig ko. “Let's just end this.” Nang tuluyan ko ng nasabi sa kaniya ay tuluyan din bumigat ang pakiramdam ko.

Nakatingin lang ako sa kaniyang mga mata. Tinitignan ang reaksyon niya, para siyang pinagbagsakan ng langit at lupa. Napabitaw pa siya ng hawak sa balikat ko. Hindi ko alam kung maniniwala pa ba ako sa reaksyon niya, dahil nagawa niya na kong lokohin, nagawa niya na kong paikutin. I don't want to hurt myself even more.

“No, no...I-I don't want. Please, wag.” He beg. “W-Wag hiwalay, babe. P-Please hm, wag hiwalay...ayoko, ayoko..” Umiiling pang sabi niya.

Para akong sinasaksak sa puso bawat pagmamakaawa niya. I don't want to see him begging for something or someone.

“We need to grow apart.” I said.

“B-Bakit ang dali mo naman akong b-bitawan?” he said, crying.

“M-Madaling bitawan?” Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko. “N-Ni hindi ko nga kayang m-mahiwalay sayo kahit isang araw! Tapos nagawa mo pang makipag-sex sa iba! Ang kapal naman ng mukha mong sabihin yan!” para akong bombang sumabog sa galit.

“N-No. I-I was f-frame up... h-hindi ako nakipag s-sex sa iba babe. Maniwala ka naman sakin...”

“F-Frame up?” Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko. “P-Pero nakita kita nung isang araw na niyakap mo siya! Magsisinungaling ka pa! Nakita na kita! Nakita ko na kayo!” I said, crying like crazy. “N-Nung pumunta ako s-sa bahay mo k-kahapon n-nakita ko kayong huba't hubad! Ano yon nagtitigan lang kayo habang nakahubad!”

“Babe I-It was f-frame up..” he tried to explain pero binibingi na ko ng galit ko. Binibingi na ko ng emosyon ko.

“W-Wala na kong pakealam.." Sabi ko at bumuntong hininga, bago punasan ang mga luha ko sa pisngi at mata.

“Dalawa tayo sa relasyong to. K-Kaya dapat dalawa din tayong m-magdidisisyon..” aniya.

“Wala na kong p-pakealam kung pumayag ka man o hindi..” Ani ko. “Pagod na pagod na kasi ako, gusto ko ng magpahinga.”