Find my Seaweed Brain...

May 17th part 2

I'm no Apollo kid when it comes to first aid but between the swirling spots in my eyes, the shooting pains up my ankle and the tightening in my stomach I managed to conclude that something was wrong. And something told me that if James spilled the beans to Chiron or any of the seven it would massively delay my timeframe to see Percy. Hence why I found myself sat before Grover Underwood who is been actively avoiding since news of my pregnancy became public information.

Great evasive skills Annabeth. Next time you want to avoid a monster maybe make a couple phone calls and put up a sign saying dinner.

"Gonna talk to me or just keep ignoring me Underwood?" I asked him squeezing my eyes closed while he paces back and forth.

He just shook his head absent mindedly and paced faster.

"Hey, goat boy. Gonna need you to say or do something before I die in this undignified position"

"I'm trying to think Chase."

The sharpness in his tone hit me like a dagger. The spots danced a little more erratically in my eyes. The pain got a little bit stronger.

I wheezed to recatch my breath.

Grover turned to face me and examined me quickly.

"Chase why don't you have a... a baby bump?" He had to swallow the words.

I think Grover Underwood was disappointed in me. I think that Grover Underwood pitied me. Gods I really don't want Grover Underwood to be disappointed or pitiful of me.

"I'm wearing a binder." I said the words slowly watching as he grew angrier with every word.

I think Grover Underwood is going to yell at me. Oh gods I don't think I can handle it if Grover Underwood shouts at me right now.

"Take it off." The words held no emotion.

I fumbled around aimlessly but my arms were heavy as lead. Without hesitating Grover walked up to me with a whittling knife and smoothly slit the thing open. So much for using this to hide from Percy.

Immediately the spots in my eyes faded and my breath returned. But the foetus didn't move.

Without making eye contact with me he took my temperature and felt my stomach with a cold, medical assertiveness to his actions. I felt like I no longer knew the Grover Underwood stood in front of me.

I've changed so much that I can no longer recognise not only myself, but one of the people I've know for the longest in my life. What if I didn't recognise Percy anymore either.

"Listen Grover, please just say whatever is on your mind. I'm sick of people holding in their opinions to save my feelings, it's so, so much worse." I barely managed to disguise the frustration in my voice.

"You've changed Annabeth." He pulled away and began fumbling in his fanny pack.

"Oh please do elaborate." I was only trying to lighten the mood with some of my signature sarcasm. I think it might have come across more as a desperate attempt to familiarise myself with him because as quick as Id said it his eyes filled with pity. Maybe it was a desperate attempt. Maybe I was desperate.

"Sometimes people don't hide their feelings to protect you. Sometimes it's about protecting themselves. The old Annabeth understood that. The old Annabeth would never have been as... as moronic as to wear a fucking corset during a war game for such a foolish reason."

"It's a necessity. I needed it to work. I need it to hide this from Percy."

"No, you needed it to hide this from yourself Annabeth. I know you. Or at least I know who you used to be, and you are just pathologically incapable of allowing yourself to look weak. Which just proves that's what you think this is. A weakness."

He stopped for a second to take a breath, and let out an angered bleat.

"You deserve better than that Annabeth. And one thing I know for sure is that my best friends fucking baby deserves better than this."

He turned away.

I let out a cry of frustration. "I get it for fucks sake. I'm selfish, I'm a coward, Percy would be ashamed, Percy deserves better. It's been praise Percy and demonise Annabeth ever since he fucking left. For what reason. Because I can't even have a fucking second to myself, to think about myself for once? I get it, I understand that I'm a shitty person now and that I've changed and that the 'old me' would have done better but she's gone isn't she. Yeah I can kid myself and say that I'll go back to being her when I have Percy back but I won't, we all know I won't. I am fucking stuck with this 'weakness' for the rest of my life, whether it lasts a few more months or by some miracle I make it through this and I have to fucking raise it. I'll never be a mom because this is who I am. I am this fucking mess and the best thing I can do is be a sacrifice which means the best thing I can do for this fucking parasite is act like it doesn't exist."

I don't think a single word through. I don't censor a single sentence. I don't think about my audience and I don't have time to regret what I've said. So the moment that I can breathe again the swirling spots and pain is replaced by unbearable guilt. I knew I was a bad person already but it had never come out loud before.

We don't say another word as he looks at my ankle, and the tension I had hoped to dissolve with talking has only increased tenfold.

"You should be fine, don't take anymore ambrosia and don't push yourself anymore than you did tonight. And don't wear that gods damned corset." He began to walk away.

"Grover wait." He stopped walking but didn't turn around to face me. Something tells me he'll never willingly make eye contact with me again.

I considered saying something the old me would say. Something kind of mean but kind of endearing. Maybe even just a 'don't be a stranger'.

"Don't tell Chiron" is all I could manage. It was a test really. I knew the Grover that trusted the Annabeth  Chase I used to be would accept it after a little convincing. If I'm being honest I expected this Grover to protest coldly.

He just continued walking. I didn't think there could be a worse result than the protesting.

I slowly got up with the assistance of the tree and attempted to strap my armour back onto myself. My ankle felt better in its supportive wrap, and the spots in my vision had faded to nothing.

The foetus still didn't move.

I ignored it and pushed forward. I had been gone for about 30 minutes and if I waited any longer people would begin to worry. My reputation for going missing for a bit after war games should have cushioned me from any suspicion, assuming James hadn't spilt anything, and the only betraying factor was the barely controllable shaking the conversation with Grover had caused.

I stepped into a clearing where all the cabins had all congregated before the flag of victory. James was the first to spot me.

"Look who it is" he cried out in a sing song voice. "We were just picking out your funeral shroud, shame really."

His tone was mocking but I could see the relief in his eyes that I looked okay. I wasn't.

I rolled my eyes, lingering on his for a few seconds longer than usual. He nodded slightly. He knew I wasn't harbouring any more grudges and I knew he hadn't squealed about the events of the woods.

I kinda feel bad for the kid.

Piper skips over to me and hugs me.

"We won!" She squealed. I flashed her a fake smile to convince the crowds (it did not) and dragged her off to the side.

"Where were you?" She whisper screamed.

"When are we leaving?" I whisper screamed back. I was very conscious that my bump was now fully visible to anyone who looked for long enough.

"After the campfire"

"I'll see you on the Argo II."