Mrs. Sodol || KNJ✅

309

-Soyeon's POV-

I keep hearing it in the back of my head, "You almost had no reaction."

He's right...and because he's right I've been sitting with an overwhelming, gut retching sense of guilt. It's a guilt that I've swallowed since the day I met Namjoon. Since the day I agreed to be in a relationship with him and everything that comes with that. But now it's manifested itself -- guilt for my lack of guilt. Survivor guilt is one thing. The guilt from not having guilt is another.

This morning, I hid it as well as I could -- but judging by the extra softness in Namjoon's eyes he wasn't fooled. The last thing I want is for him to be worried about me. Before I know it he'll go on about how I don't have to stay with him if I don't want to...and how if this life is too much for me then I don't have to live it or whatever.

That's another thing that he is right about...I don't have to...

But the idea of leaving him? No. No...I can't. I won't.

The best way to snap myself out of my guilt was to push through today as if nothing was on my mind. Though he noticed my mood, Namjoon didn't question, even when I lashed out at Jordyn in the room, something I didn't intend on doing when first going in. It all just slipped out of me. I didn't even need to hold a gun to her head the whole day for her to comply.

Leaving the room, I messaged Jaylen. To my luck she was already on her way to Legacy, and by the time Jordyn and I were downstairs, she pulled up around the back entrance. Jaylen nodded at Namjoon as she approached me, and from his jacket pocket, he handed her an envelope undoubtedly filled with cash.

Jaylen: Thanks, Boss.

Namjoon: Mhm.

Me: Get in the car, Jordyn.

She nodded and walked shakily past me. I kept my eye on her, and she didn't even buckle her seat belt without permission. Either she is the most bitch-made person in Sodol, the smartest person in Sodol, or just the most desperate person to stay alive in Sodol. Either way, I can't bring myself to trust her.

Me: I'll send the location and you can meet us there afterwards.

Namjoon: Okay.

Me: Okay.

If Jaylen wasn't here, I wouldn't have to fight back the smile I was holding, likewise for Namjoon. But he's not like me...his eyes give away all of his affections towards me. As I stepped towards the car, he winked at me. And I just know it's going to haunt me for the rest of my day...assuming I can fight back any flashbacks from last night. His hand and lips on my neck, his other hand between my legs as he buried himself impossibly deeper inside of me, his raspy voice whispering in my ear...

He's an evil man.

I made sure to compose myself when I got into the car. In the pocket behind the driver's seat, I instructed Jaylen to put in two zip ties. Quickly, I reached for them and slapped them around Jordyn's wrist, attaching her to the small pole of the headrest from the seat in front of her. I rushed, sealing the ties closed before she had time to process or protest.

Jordyn: Hey! Wait! You don't have to-

Me: Don't I?

Jordyn: I swear, I'm not going to try anything.

Me: Okay. Then sit still.

Jordyn: Please...whatever I have to do to be in your good graces, I'll do it.

Me: I'm sure you will.

Jordyn: I was only doing what I had to do so that they didn't kill me.

Me: And you're going to keep doing that so that I don't kill you.