Mesmerized by you

27

 "Hey, I don't want to sound weird but, you seem really nice, do you have snap?" She asks. I looked over at Alvah to see if he agrees, he nods his head slowly signaling that it was okay. 

"Yeah, I do" I give her my snap and we drove away. 

I got a notification that she added me on snap, I didn't feel like adding her back at the moment so i just ignored it. 

We got back and went right into the bed, we turned on the t.v. and about three seconds later Alvah was passed out. I look at my phone for about an hour, then I feel my eyes getting heavy, so I put down my phone and close my eyes. 

I open my eyes and the sun is shining bright across my face. "Good morning" Alvah says. "How long have you been awake?" 

"About an hour"

I get out of bed and use the bathroom, he follows along. 

"Are you ready to go home today?" What... home already, since when?

"What" 

"Yah, we go home today, I've been telling you every day for the past week that we are going home today."

"I don't recall that happening, I guess I just didn't hear you." I let out a slight sigh, I look up at Alvah and his eyes tell me he's mad, I'm not sure why he would be mad. The only thing that's happened today is we woke up and went to the bathroom other than that we had the conversation that's going on right now. 

"Are you mad or something" My heart starts beating really fast, but I'm not sure why.

"Yes, Katherine I'm mad why does it matter to you." 

"Well why are you all of the sudden mad? Did I do something?" My heart is beating even faster than before.

"I'm mad because you pay attention to nothing I say!" He yells. I flinch at that sentence, and it took me a moment to comprehend what he said because, what?

"Why are you yelling at me I did nothing, calm down." I'm pretty calm - not that I want to be - I stand there for a moment waiting for him to break the silence, we stood there for what felt like an hour but in reality, it was only ten seconds. He finally broke the scilence.

"Do not tell me to calm down Katherine, all you care about is you, all you ever want in life is for you to be happy, not me not the people you used to be friends with. And what about your mom? You left her in another state all by herself knowing she wishes she could spend more time with you just so YOU could have a good time and spend all of my money. You're a stupid little selfish BITCH!" 

It didn't take me long to reply I'm not the person to play games with. 

"You're kidding right? I mean for real there is no way you believe any of that to be true. I care about more than myself, I care for you I do what you want to do whenever you want to do it no matter what. You want sex? you have it within the next thirty seconds. You want to go somewhere? give me two minutes and I'm ready to go do what YOU want to do. And if you ever dare to mention my mother ever again your next meal with, be your teeth. No matter how big you are I'll manage to make it happen without even chipping a nail. Also let's not forget when you told me not to even bring my wallet on the trip because you wanted to pay for everything. And this trip was a surprise remember, I had no choice but to go the tickets were already payed for there was already this room waiting for us I had to go Alvah."

Did I take it too far? Probably. Do I care? Not in this moment but I might later. 

We spent the rest of the time we had there arguing over what you might ask? I have not one single clue. 

It was time to get on the plane and luckily our seats were pretty far from each other. I sat there overthinking the whole plane ride wishing this had never happened.  But it did and there was nothing I could do about it, so I cried instead I fell that was a pretty reasonable response.

We got off the plane and Alvah drove me home, he walked me to my front door and before he walked away, he gave me a hug. He put his mouth up to me ear and whispered.

"I never, ever want to see you again." My heart sank. I have never felt a feeling so heavy in my life. I wanted to bury myself a hole crawl into the hole, ball up and just die. He walked awake completely unfazed. 

I was depressed for a long time, ya'know in 'Twilight' when Bella sits and stares out her window for like a whole year? Yeah well that's exactly what I did for five months. I barley ate, showered, I didn't take care of myself. I had to feelings I was numb. Thing were going back to the way they were before i met...him... 

The one day I went downstairs - out of my room - my mom was home and as she usually was when she was home, she was watching the news. It was talking about some guy from my school that killed himself, the only thing that caught my attention was the fact that the screen had a picture of Alvah all over it. Alvah was dead, he hung himself five months ago. The very day he told me he never wanted to see me again. there was a letter, written to me, it read,

Katherine Amara Smith,

      The one true love of my life. I'm assuming you now know that I have chosen to end my own life. I'm not sure what people normally write in these so this will be short. Just promise me one thing, don't ever forget me.

                                          Love, Alvah.

With a tear dripping down my face I thought to myself, how could I ever forget him? After all I'm almost six months pregnant.