I Have Forgiven

My God I was in a lot of pain

Made an appointment with a nurse

She said "I would need my ear syringed

Otherwise it would get worse"

Go down to reception 

And book another date"

Two days later I was back

With the doctor running late

When the nurse called me eventually

She asked "What I was there for"

I said "I'D COME ABOUT MY EAR"

Then followed her through a door

She asked me to strip from the bottom down

Then passed me a blanket for cover

Stating"The Doctor would not be long"

Then went off to help another

As I laid cold on the couch

Counting every dot on the wall

She came back and apologised 

The Doctor was out on call

She asked "If I would like to go

And come back another day"

But I was there now ,so I sweetly smiled

Said "It's fine ,I'd rather stay"

She popped in every now and then 

Said "It shouldn't be too long"

I laid there trying to work out ,

Why I had removed my thong ?

Eventually Dr Yates came in 

Looking rather jolly

Followed by the nurse 

With instruments on her trolley

"Right Miss Skeet draw your legs

And flop them by your side

Take a breath,try to relax 

Nurse may I have a slide"

Next he pushed a speculum

Full of lubrication

Into my , well ,you know what

I didn't feel elation

He must have seen my horror 

As I tightly closed my lids

Then with a really cheeky grin

Said "Wait til you have kids"

The nurse said "Icould get dressed" 

Then I was free to go

If anything untoward showed up 

They would let me know"

No one had looked inside my ear

No attempt made to syringe

Infact they never mentioned it 

Just focused on my minge

I walked home in turmoil

How could it be connected

I reasoned perhaps that it had spread

And somehow been infected

I said to Mum "I told them

That i'd gone about MY EAR"

She laughed and said "You silly cow

The've thought you said a Smear"