Paralyzed • HS AU

009•

— above is the full cast for the book (other than parents) in case anyone was confused or just plain forgot. hope you are enjoying the chaos! ❤️ —

With a lit cigarette dangling from my lips I climbed from my bathroom window again, not wanting the others to see me leaving. I was still on watch, despite telling them I wasn't going to do anything stupid. My friends knew the signs leading to the inevitable trip to the hospital, and rather than try to help me, like they'd done millions of times before, they decided to just trap me.

Now, I wish I'd listened. Wish I noticed that they essentially gave up. Much like I did.

Quietly I pulled the window shut, pulling Harry's cardigan tightly across my body as I snuck away from the house. My converse slapped the concrete as I made my way down the long driveway, seeing my motorcycle, a BMW R 1250 RT, was leaned against the mailbox. With a smile I climbed on the bike, not bothering with my helmet tossing it down, quickly starting the engine and speeding away. I did not want to be caught. With Harry's cardigan blowing in the wind I let my body relax into the seat, a smile on my face as the smell of Harry whipped around me.

He was all I could think about. Since waking up on his chest it was like an addiction. I needed him to feel sane. It was as if he had crawled under my skin and I craved it. I'd never felt this way about a person. I'd had crushes, and a few lustful spells, but nothing like what Harry Styles brought to the table. He was worse than cocaine. One hit of Harry and it was a shameless addiction. Everything about him, the mesmerizing emerald orbs, unruly brown curls, the Cheshire smile, his slightly crooked nose, the way his fingers fit perfectly, the way he filled me completely. It was as if I'd never get enough of him.

And without him, everything felt wrong. The lights didn't shine right. The world spun too fast and everything felt funny when he was gone. When he'd got the phone call, it was like he left in that moment. And the world felt cold. His eyes no longer held the playful shimmer as he turned back. And just like that the air in my lungs felt stale and I couldn't seem to get more. He was a ghost and I felt dead beside him.

Squeezing my eyes shut for a second I let out a harsh breath, leaning forward as I accelerated, pushing 90mph as I attempted to talk myself down from the unforgettable fall I'd likely take. Weaving through the light traffic, I gripped the handlebars harshly as I sped through the city, my mind racing with haunting thoughts of a man I'd never expected. Making a harsh right turn, I sped down the dark side streets, slowing to a stop in front of a tiny yellow painted home. It was one of the cutest homes outside of the city, one I'd loved from childhood.

When I was younger, my mom would always take Eli and I on drives through the city. Every time we passed this house, I told them I'd live in it one day. That I'd clean it up real nice and she and dad and Eli could come visit. Eli would always say it was a stupid dream, the house was too ugly. My mother always smiled at me and told me it was a beautiful dream, and if I worked hard, it would be mine.

And now this is where I get my drugs. Oh how the tables have turned.

Cutting the engine of the bike, I quietly kicked the stand down, leaning the bike against it as I climbed off. Looking down at my worn converse I let out a heavy breath, slipping my hand into the little bag I always had with me, grabbing my cigarettes, slipping one from the pack, dropping the pack back into my bag as I lit the square. Lifting my head I squared my shoulders, making my way up the small gravel walkway and to the small worn porch. As I lifted my hand to knock, a figure moved from the dark porch, walking towards me. Without a second thought I reach behind my back, gripping the cold metal tucked in my jeans as the figure approached, their hands flew up in defense.

"Woah, Baby it's just me." Standing just feet from me, I could now see the dirty blonde mop of hair blowing around in the wind. His wide hazel eyes locked on mine as his chest rose and fell dramatically. I dropped my hold on the gun in my waistband, flashing my empty hands before placing them on my hips.