Status Quo

Chapter Six

[Picture of Caleb above]

Caleb's POV

Although I had been the one to leave the Alpha in the lounge that evening, I can't help but feel irritated at the absence of effort to seek me out, even though I'm the one who has actively ignored him the past few days. Believe me, I understand how backwards it sounds but the distance between us is painful, and with such swaying emotions, I just wish he'd apply some pressure so that I can make up my mind.

Going out of my way to avoid him has little to do with the fact that he's an Alpha, much less to do with him being a shifter, and absolutely everything to do with how he made me feel. How he continues to make me feel. I've navigated this world for several hundred years, I'm by no means new to feelings or relationships but I've never quite felt lust for someone like this. Then again, nor have I ever felt love either.

The way my body lights on fire when he touches me, fuck, even the way he looks at me has me warming with desire. I've always known that having a mate elicits intense emotions and feelings, but this is the first time I've ever truly felt something for someone. I by no means love him, hell, only in the last hour have I accepted that I'm lusting for him, but I can't deny that there's this unfamiliar feeling of excitement that bubbles inside me when in his presence. Like he offers comfort, a soft blanket that's secure and its cosy lining is enough to make me drift to sleep. But it's also a feeling that's similar to jumping off a cliff with a parachute or going on a wild adventure.

It's tricky to explain. I've never wanted someone's company before. I've always actively chosen to stay away from people, namely because others rarely pique my interest. Besides my mother, and I suppose my father before he passed, I didn't want to be around people that weren't my clan. I've never been sure if it's a Delta thing, to despise other people, but it's meant I've gone several decades without contact that wasn't familial or forced on me from an Alphas beating or light touch from working the bar. And I liked it that way, but now, not so much, not when I've experienced the touch of my mate.

It's infuriating that my will is bending before my eyes, but what's most aggravating, is that I'm letting it. Perhaps I've spent too long caging myself in this room, or maybe the mate bond has plagued my mind and forced my attention to focus only on a particular Alpha. All I know is that Matthias Alvarez hasn't stopped running around my mind for the last few days and despite needing to get back to my mother, those desires are consistently quashed with thoughts of him. I'm swinging left and right, fighting myself, but fighting a mate bond only makes it work harder. So even if my true desire is to go back to my mum, the Alpha dominates every notion I have.

The way his hands caress my skin, evoking pleasurable tingles that move down my spine and caress my cock. The way his eyes pin me in place as if he's daring me to disobey him because the idea of punishing me brings out a need he didn't know he had. The way I happily let my lips loosen and spilt every feeling and desire out to him. That isn't like me. I'm always tight-lipped, yet, in a moment of blinding lust, I let go.