I woke up as normal, my alarm screaming at me to wake up. I got up and got out of bed so I would feel awake faster. As soon as I got out of bed I could just feel it, my back leg stepping farther back to hold the weight of myself to help me not fall over. My eyes jumping from thing to thing in my room, they would focus then unfocus, my head felt heavy, I really don't want to deal with this right now, I walked back over to my bed and covered myself in my blanket. "Kenna honey it's time to wake up!" My mom said from outside my room waiting for a reply, I was trying to think of one then my eyes started to close, my vision went black and my limbs felt super heavy. I woke up up according to my mom 2 minutes and 8 seconds later.
I wasn't even fully up when I asked " again?" I am so tired of this happening. Passing out that is, I got a concussion 2 years ago and since then , I would just pass out. My longest one has been 5 minutes and 3 seconds. That time I didn't wake up in my bed like I normally do I woke up in the hospital. I could remember that day like yesterday it was terrible. "Your not going to school today then." My mom said as she walked over to my bed then sat down. "I mean what are we going to do about this, in the past 2 months you've passed out more then the 2 years you got that stupid concussion." I could hear the anger in her voice, the light in my face faded. "I am sorry honey I know you can't control it." My mom doesn't or try's to not get angry often, it's hard for her, my dad passed away 3 years ago in the military, and I have two older brothers David 19 and Jack 17 then me Kenna 16 then my younger brother and his twin sister the boy is 9 and his name is Kaden and his twin Kayla also 9. I mostly take care of Kaden and Kayla, it's really hard for my mom Kaden looks a lot like my dad, he has dark green eyes, light brown hair and a few freckles on his face and arms. People say " they get it " they really really don't. People don't understand the fear of falling, and just hoping you'll wake up, I want to wake up for my sister, for my brothers, for my mom and sometimes my dad, even though he isn't here I know how crushed he would really be if I didn't wake up. But I don't do all I do for my dad sometimes it's good to have him not looking over a shoulder all the time, and yes I mean all the time. What people didn't see is my dad wasn't all that great, he was a homophobic piece of crap sometimes, who am I really kidding it was 99% of the time. Now I don't know what all that is yet but I have a lot of friends who are in the lgbt+ group, and I know it's not a bad thing to be who you really are and show that to the world. Clearly that's what my dad wanted me to see , but I really don't get his reasoning for that, what is really wrong with it? I wish I could go on and learn more, but it makes my head hard really really bad. I loved my dad, sure, I didn't hate him he was a pretty good dad, but sometimes I really just don't know.
I don't know...
