404: Love Not Found

Tangled Threads

[POV: Alex]

It was the July of 4th Grade. The quiet pacing of my heart radiates throughout my body the just the sight of other students walking passed me. The glares in their eyes looking down at me on my desk are enough to make my knees buckle. Honestly, I don't know why I care so much for what they think since I know that they mean nothing to my overall future. I know that their smirks, their laughter, and their teases mean nothing in the grand calculus of my existence, yet they seemingly do. However, I'm willing to stay the course. Inside these beige walls filled with letters, images of waterfalls, and faces of previous politicians, I know something majestic will happen. Like Nikola Tesla, the pulse of my ever-growing thirst for understanding will lead me to higher levels. Although, my tongue twists every time I say that. 

A few minutes go by after all the students have settled in their seats bickering with each other and a teacher entered the room. As I watch her walk, her strides radiate a certain level of poise one only sees in political meetings. Each step echoes across the room making each person sit up straight and keep quiet. She then proceeded to put her things on the desk in front of the classroom and take a piece of chalk from a container to write her name on the blackboard. Mrs. Estrada, that was her name. An intimidating name to match her equally intimidating aura. I looked at the clock and I see that we still have 5 minutes before the first official minute of the new school year begins, yet the eerie silence would make you believe we have been acquainted with Mrs. Estrada for a long time. I was both petrified but astonished as to how such a first impression could instill this level of respect in a group of people.

As we all dread each tick of the clock, realizing Mrs. Estrada would be our teacher for the next ten months, I hear loud footsteps coming from the outside. I was wondering why someone would be running at this time of day given that everyone was in their seats already, but then I saw the empty chair behind me when I looked around. I don't know whether to laugh at the irony that such a strict teacher would be faced with such a tardy student on the first day of school or to be pitiful at the student who will have to face the wrath of Mrs. Estrada when they get here, assuming the one running would be from this class that is. Coincidentally enough, a girl wearing a slightly messy blouse with her hair frizzy beyond what I assume is neat stops at the door of our classroom two minutes before class. Her socks were unleveled to each other, her tie bigger on one side, and her bag hanging from one side of her shoulder. As much as I want to commend her for clutching the clock, I don't assume that a smile would even crack the lips of our new teacher.

"What are you standing there for?" Mrs. Estrada asks. "I'm sorry for being tardy, Miss. Won't happen again," replies with a soft monotone voice while she looks down. "If you down hurry to your seat, then you'll be tardy. Right now, you're just wasting your time standing there for no reason," Mrs. Estrada replied to her sternly. To this, she nodded yes and ran immediately to her seat.

"Hey," she whispers to me at the exact moment she sat behind me. "My name's Emily," she added with what I assume is a smile. Is she making fun of me now? "What's your name?" she asks me. By this point, I can feel my finger wanting to snap my pencil already so I answered, "Alex. That's my name." Unsurprisingly, this little chat caught the eye of our teacher and loudly told us to cut it out. Now, I'm forever tainted in the eyes of these people as an unworthy and noisy student. If there is something that everybody hates, it's being friends with someone considered a black sheep within the classroom. Not to mention that little miss nuisance here thinks we're buddies. Call me douche, I don't care since no one cares for what I think.

"Okay students, eyes up here," Mrs. Estrada told everyone. Hoping that I could escape the demerit I'd earned from the mischief earlier, I kept my hands up throughout the questions provided to us. The sound of my name paired with a phrase of excellence consumed my ears. The subtle smile, the little thumbs-up, and the small nods from Mrs. Estrada were enough to make me comfortable that this school year wasn't going to be as painful as the yesteryears. 

While that reality was just about to set into my nerves, I feel a kick at the back of my chair. At first, I was confused about why I would be kicked, but I remember who was behind me... Emily. "Hey, you're a real smart guy, aren't you?" she mockingly asked me while leaning into my ears. "What's it to you, huh?" I replied with a tougher whisper through my clenched teeth. "Woah, no need to be mad, Alex," she said with an obvious intent to invalidate my emotions. "You don't know me alright, so back off," I leaned in to tell her. Thankfully, Mrs. Estrada didn't hear this bickering and I got off demerit-free.

After all that hogwash back in our classroom, the bell for our recess finally rang. Since it was the first day of classes, our school allowed us to have an earlier recess and take our time to get acquainted with the new faces attending our facilities like teachers, students, members of the school staff, and all of those other new kinds of stuff you see in school every year. I don't pay much attention to those things. Yeah, it's "fun" to do those things, but I don't see the point of doing it. I usually just sit by myself and eat the peanut butter sandwich my mom made for me while at breakfast. Fortunately, this year is no different. I opened my lunchbox, took out my sandwich, and just observed the people around me. Funnily enough, though I don't want to be friends with these people, it's still a curious situation to see them laughing among themselves. I wonder what they're laughing about. Is it about food? Is it about their favorite singers? Or is it about who they think is the best player in their chosen sport? I don't know, and I don't believe I'll ever know.

Unfortunately, as I look at the new schoolmates I will have this year, a familiar face appears. I recognize that styling of blouse anywhere, those unleveled socks, that awful-looking hair, I knew it was her. Do you know what's worse? She was running. Not just running in general, but running towards me. Of all people, it's me who she chooses to torture. Knowing that I won't be able to escape this one, I just crossed my finger and hoped for the best. "Hey! Alex!" she yelled as she waves her hand up in the air with a terribly-acted smile on her face. "What?" I replied with a disheartened tone. "I just wanted to ask what was that back in the classroom? You were all angry and stuff," she said as she slowly stops her run in front of me. "First, don't talk to me like we've known each other for a long time. Second, because I don't like being messed with. I know ill-intent when I see it," I told her firmly. "What? Sorry, I didn't quite understand that last part," she awkwardly replied to me. "*sigh* Alright, here's the deal. I don't like it when people just walk up to me and act all buddy-buddy. So whatever this is, I don't feel cool with it." I broke it down for her. "So, you're saying that you don't like strangers invading your space, correct?" she asked. "Yes, that's what I meant," I said to her. "If so, then hi. My name is Emily Amores, and I like to draw, sing, cook, or do any art. We just moved here near the school last month and I'm a bit nervous." she enumerated to me while swaying from side to side. "Okay, that's nice," I replied with a strong monotone voice. "So, may I sit down already?" she mocked me once again. "Alright, smart aleck, you know that's not what I meant," I replied to her with disappointment. "Oh come on, please, let's be friends," she begged me with that puppy eyes of hers. "If I say yes, will you calm yourself down and not bother me much for the rest of the day?" I inquired. "Yes! A hundred percent!" She excitedly responded to me. "Well, then sure. I'll be your friend." I told her hoping it would make her leave me alone. Boy was I wrong, cause what followed was a bunch of squeals I can only describe as banshee-like. 

Now that all of that has transpired, I was sort of hoping that would be it. No more screams, no more annoyance, nothing more from her, but again, I was proven wrong. Throughout the short day, we had in school on the first day, all I felt was the shaking of my chair, pestering repetitions of my name in whispers, and empty compliments thrown at me. Despite us only having to attend school for half a day, I already foresaw my year and how tragic it will be. Not regarding Mrs. Estrada's approval of me, this Emily girl is what will be the one stopping me from having a great year. I just hope this doesn't persist past this day. All I can do is hope.