404: Love Not Found

First Light

[POV: Emily] 

It was the morning of the camp. I remember my eyes quivering as they open, directly staring into the beam of light entering through the corner of one of my curtains. I reached over to pull the curtain a bit to block out the sun and immediately went back to bed, but I felt a knot in my stomach that radiated towards my feet, hands, and head. Despite relentlessly twisting and turning, the knot seemed to stay. I looked over at the clock to see what time it was. With its minute hand shaped to resemble a daisy, the clock pointed directly down, and its rosed-shaped hour hand pointed steadily between seven and six o'clock. "Isn't it too early to be this bright?" I thought to myself while turning, facing the opposite of the clock and window. 

I took one of my pillows to hug and plant my face in. The camp's call time isn't until 11 this morning, and Alex said they would pick me up by the school at 10, is what I told myself while I closed my eyes tightly and attempted to fall back asleep. "One more hour," I begged, but nothing. I thought it might be because I needed to get ready, but I've already done that. I can still recall smelling the pungent aroma of vinegar my mom was mixing with the soy sauce and chicken to make adobo as I packed my clothes into this 3-feet by 2-feet deep-black suitcase with pockets on nearly every side of it. The case also had an insulated section to allow me to bring some of my food in. I put my soap there because I thought it would melt like cheese. I finished packing all the clothes, documents, medicine, hygiene materials, and snacks before I went down and ate with my mom, so it was not the preparation I was or should be concerned about. I thought it must be what I'll wear to camp, but the center has uniforms. The uniforms were this baggy peanut brown polyester polo with chest pockets on either side and darker brown baggy shorts about the length of my entire thigh up to my knee. We also wore a yellow handkerchief that was folded and fastened to our necks with a dark plastic pin in the form of an atom. In addition, we received yellow caps with "The Wise-and-Witty" printed on them, and we had to put on black shoes. We could have easily been mistaken for scouts if someone hadn't been paying attention. The thing is that I had that exact uniform hanging on the handle of my closet, ready to be worn, which means that can't be the problem. 

I was starting to get frustrated by this point. My blanket covered my entire body, a pillow above and below my head, and I lay sideways, facing the wall, trying to be as close to it as possible. Nothing seemed to be working. After a few minutes of having my eyes closed, yet no success at slumber, I got an idea. This one time, I peeked into the faculty room and saw our Science teacher trying to sleep near the door. She was lying face-up on one of the couches, twisting and turning. After a few seconds of this, I remember watching her stop, lay face back up, put her hands to her sides, and breathe deeply and gently. She was fast asleep, so I tried that. I removed everything on me, laid face up with my hands to the side, and started breathing gently. It felt calm for a moment—the subtle breeze from my fan brushed across my face, the dim room felt dimmer and cozier, and the bed felt like clouds I was about to sink into. Everything felt vivid but oddly relaxing. However, just as I felt my consciousness slip into the abyss once more, my mind began to imagine a face. It had short, straight black hair with a glaring shimmer when it's bright out. It also had black glasses that were a little thick but rested fittingly on the bridge of its nose. Finally, it also had this tiny little dimple on its right cheek whenever it smiled.

In my dream, I couldn't stop giggling and playing with its face because of its cute look when it smirked. All I knew at that moment was that I didn't want to stop playing with this face, but I suppose I giggled too hard because I suddenly woke up soon after. However, I woke up with something new in my head. I now know why I was sleepless. It was not clothes, preparations, or fashion that kept me up; it was Alex. The thought of being with Alex for a literal month non-stop had my mind in a kerfuffle. It wasn't anxiety; it never was. How could I be anxious if Alex was on my mind this entire time? The tingling sensation of excitement quickly replaced the worry that had soaked me earlier.