Yours Truly

November, 1918

'Tommy,

I'm sorry I worried you. But I promise I'm much better now. Can hardly tell I was ill most days. Just tired, sometimes. But even that's not happening as much, now. Oh! Have I told you? (of course I haven't, ignore that), Ada's met a boy. I can't tell you his name- I've been sworn to secrecy. But he's nice. Came home injured, but so sweet. She's been letting him take her on walks in the afternoons. Martha and I have been poking a bit of fun at her...'

-

'Lizzie,

Yes, I was reported missing for a while. But I'm fine. Things got a bit off course. Me and Freddie got left behind by mistake. John and Arthur got wrapped up in it all, as well. Still not sure how it happened, them being there. I'll be honest- it was bad for a bit. Ended up surrounded and cut off. Hid in a crater until there was a break in the line and we could get away.

We should have died, Lizzie. And I'm not telling you that to scare you. It just is fact. But we didn't die. And we decided, the lot of us, we decided that everything after that was extra. Good and bad and all of it, just extra. And I've got a plan, Lizzie, for my bit of....

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'Tommy,

It's coming round again, influenza. It's been worse this time. Polly told me about the first go. I was so sick I didn't know anything. But she told me how most people were sick a few days and got over it, quick. Not this, Tommy, I don't know what this is. But it's scary. People getting sick and dying a day later. Polly says I wasn't like that. Says it was just fever for me, not this.

Martha's got it. I want to help but Polly won't let me. Me or Ada. She has us watching the kids and she sleeps at John's. The kids don't...'

-

'Tommy,

I sent my last letter yesterday. You probably don't even have it yet. But Polly asked me to write you. Martha's gone. Died in the night. Ada's beside herself. And the kids. God, Tommy, the kids. Katie's never gone a night without Martha and now... It's not right. It hasn't even been a week since she got sick.

Polly's writing to John, now. I hate him getting news like this over there. And after what you told me, about the extra...'

-

'Lizzie,

They're talking of peace. They're saying there will be a ceasefire. The Germans are wanting it. And why not? They fucking started it, why not let them end it, too. And I can't help but think of the boys we're leaving here. If this thing goes through, if we can end this... We're leaving so many men behind. Boys barely old enough to shave buried in the mud. And the rest of us- the ones going home- what about us? What do we do next? How do we get the mud and smoke and the fucking noise out of our heads?

I'm tired of being a piece in bigger men's games. I'm tired of all the death and pain. I just want to come home, Lizzie. Wanna see Finn and Ada and Pol. Wanna take you to Charlie's yard, teach you to ride horses. I want things. I still want things that feel nice, Lizzie...'

-

'Tommy,

I hope it's true- the ceasefire. I hope it means you can come home and soon. I'm getting a bit impatient about meeting you, Soldier. But Tommy, you know you're not just a piece in a game, right? You're a person, and a good one. You've got people who care for you a lot. We'll get you those nice things, yet Tommy. Promise.

I've met John. He came home a week ago. Some kind of special leave or early discharge. I don't remember. But he's here. And the kids haven't let him out of their sight for a minute. Not that he's been any better. Katie adores him. She was a bit shy at first, but once he'd held her for a couple hours she was set. Won't let him put her down, hardly...'