Killing me softly (Sangwoo x Reader)

Waking up in the dark

My head, why is it throbbing so hard?

My eyes struggled to open themselves as I felt the cold concrete on my skin. As I managed to blink away the grit in my eyes, my mind slowly began to have conscience again.

This coldness... and the smell. The familiar feeling around my wrist...what's happening.

At the realisation, my eyes shot open and my breathing started to speed up. The nervous and dreaded feeling took over my entire body.

I couldn't breath and my hands started to struggle behind my back in the ropes they were tide into.

"N-no, no- not again...please, please god, please not again." My tears began to cascade my cheeks as the horrible memories of 2 years ago repeated over and over again.
"Pl-ea-ease, I'm sorry. Please god, please." I say repetitively, choking on my tears.

The sound of the doorknob rattling makes my entire body quake in fear. I struggled so desperately out of my restraints, but no matter how hard I tried, all I did was cause more pain around my wrists and ankles.

The footsteps behind me got louder as they trudged down the stairs. My nose started to run cold snot and my body began to shake uncontrollably.

"Please, I'm sorry. I beg you god please don't let this be real. I promise I'll be a good girl, I promise, I promise, pl-ea-ease don't let this be happening." I repeat again, preying my heart out. Hoping this was just one of my tormenting dreams I have over and over.

•••

For the past 2 years after being kidnapped by an old friend, I had been going to therapy almost everyday for those 2 years straight. I had tried so desperately to become a normal girl again, but after the things he had done to me; after the damage he had done to my body, I had found it nearly impossible to go back to that innocent girl I was.

I sit in my therapists room, waiting for her to finish writing down the words I had said. She tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear, and looks up at me with the utmost sympathy.

The wounds around my face had still been trying to heal back then. So the bandages and bruises made up my entire face.

The life I once had in it, was all but gone. It was robbed from me; my innocents and my will to live on. It was all taken from me by force.

"(Y/n)?" The therapist calls out in the sweetest voice.

I take my eyes off the carpet and look up at her, waiting for her next question. I knew she was here to help me, and I knew in my heart she was... But it didn't matter how hard she tried, I couldn't get him out of my mind.

"How did he make you feel, after doing the...activities with you?" She asked. My body shuddered at the question, as the image of his body rapping me came into my mind.

"..." I kept quite, trying to think of the words. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't answer her.

"Try thinking of three words." She says, placing her notebook down in her lap.

My eyes travel back towards the carpet and began to think of words that could vaguely describe the feelings I felt in that time.

"...pain..." I say once. The therapist nods, writing down the word in her notebook.
"Tainted.....humiliated." I manage to finish the words; pools of tears bubbling at my lid.