𝑰𝒍𝒍 𝑭𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 (previously Vaidehi) ✎

[1]

My mother is a wise woman. She is the kind of person a lot of people in our village come to ask advice from and being the gentle, kind soul that she is, she never let's anybody in need leave before solving their problem. She values knowledge above all else and has made sure she passed on everything she knew about the world to me as well. Maa has taught me many things, from how to stitch new clothes to why Bhagwan Ram was a great king to how to cope with bullys. But one thing very important thing she forgot to teach me was how to react when your parents tell you that the life you've known till now was all a fabricated lie they made up in order to "protect" you from the truth.

Because if she had taught me that, it would have certainly helped me today.

"You are telling me that you are a KING!" My voice has reached an insanely high octave but at this point I am not even going to calm down. I can't calm down.

My father tries to explain, "Bete I understand that this must be difficult for you but we did what we needed to in order to protect y-"

"No! No no no no! I don't understand- How could you both do this to me? " I hate that my voice cracks in between.
"How could you hide this from me for all these years? Maa? How could you?"

"Vadehi baccha, please try to-" I cut my mother off with a withering glare when she starts to explain. I have had enough of these two.
"Just leave me alone! "

"Vadehi this is not how you speak to elders! " My mother yells back. I ignore her,pressing my face into a pillow I let quiet sobs escape my mouth. My mother always says crying helps, but right now the more I cry the more it hurts.
You are an Illegitimate child.

As I cry harder, I feel a faint shadow looming over me and before I know it my father's calloused palm is brushing my hair. Soothing me. The calloused palm that can only belong to a warrior, not a trader. How did I miss the signs all these years?

"I am sorry princess. I am so sorry. " He whispers over me.

"Don't" Sob. "Call me. " Sob. "A." Sob.
"Princess."

"Okay. Okay. I won't. "

Suddenly a thought crosses me. I lift up on my hand and wipe my tears, though it's a waste since fresh new tears fall just a second later.
"Why now? " I ask between hiccups.
"Why did you tell me now?"

Father looks away for a brief second before looking back at me with the same apologetic look as before.

"Oh heavens!" I say in mock excitement, "There is a reason why you told me now, isn't there? I should have know. "

"Va-"

"Just tell me. Just tell me and get this over with, Pitaji." I spit out. Maa and Pitaji share a look of understanding before he finally cracks.

A lone tear falls from my father's eye as he starts explaining.
"My kingdom....Well the thing is my older daughter was supposed to marry the prince of Mewar tomorrow, their alliance has been fixed since two years but two weeks ago Radhika confessed to me that she is in love with our army general and trust me, Vaidehi, I have thought about this for two whole weeks before I decided to come to you. I need your help. I can't force Radhika into a marriage she doesn't want because who better than me can understand what it is like to be tied in a marriage you don't want." He glances at maa sadly before continuing, "But at the same time I can't upset my dear friend, the king of Mewar, by totally calling off the marriage. We have wanted to turn our friendship into a relationship for a very long time and this is the only opportunity."

For some reason until my father mentioned his other daughter's name it hadn't even crossed my mind that my father might have other children as well. But now that he's said it, I just feel all the more alien to the other part of his life. I have a sister named Radhika. I wonder what she looks like, does she even know about me? Maybe I have more siblings too. Albeit half siblings. But siblings nonetheless.

"Do I have more siblings? " I find myself asking. Pitaji smiles affectionately and nods.
"I have a queen back home. My....wife. And with her I have three children. One girl, Radhika and Two boys, your older twin brothers, Angad and Devrat."

When I don't acknowledge his answer, he just continues with what he was saying earlier.
"So as I was saying. I won't force Radhika into this marriage alliance and the king of Mewar, Shivraj Pratap Singh doesn't care which daughter I get his son married to only as long as she is my daughter. So will you, my veera, save your father's honour. Will you accept this marriage proposal? " Hearing him call me by my childhood nickname "veera" stirs something in me.

A large part of me wants to just say no and not help him. Let him hurt as much as I am hurting right now. But the sensible part of myself reminds me that he is good father. He might have lied but he has never once hurt me, never screamed at me, always been patient and loving. And this is the first time he has asked anything from me, how can I just say no.

But the angry part of my brain gets the better of me for now and I lash out.
"So this is why you decided to finally let me know the goddamn truth? I can't believe you! The only reason you finally decided to tell me my truth is because you had no other option, wow, I must say some parents you both are. "

"You know it's not like that. Try to think rationally Vaidehi. It's not like we have enjoyed keeping you in the dark. Besides, you only just turned eighteen last month and we both had decided very early on that we'll tell you the truth once you turned eighteen and were old enough to understand."

My blood boils. "Well, mother in that case thank you for being so considerate and not telling me my own reality until I was old enough to "understand". However I should confirm that I don't appreciate the thought. I would have liked better had I known this from when I was goddamn five. Atleast then I wouldn't have lived a lie. And as far as helping you out is concerned Pitaji, I won't help out. You can go find yourself another daughter because this one is dead. "

"Vaidehi! Don't-" My mother's sharp words are cut off by father.

"Rohini, it's fine. We deserve her anger. Let's give her some time, she'll come around. " He says quietly before ushering maa out of my room. I fall back down onto the bed and press my face to the pillow. Exhaling a loud breathe I give in to the wave of exhaustion as I cry myself to the sweet oblivion of sleep.