Ain't it random

SHADOWS TURN SHALLOW...

You were there... then you weren't,

and I said it was your fault.

Shadows of what we used to be,

are all that are left for me,

but it was my fault really. 

I called us " Partners in crime", 

yet I was the one pushing my partner away.

I blamed you when you left,

but maybe I was to shallow to see you left for a good reason.

I gave you so many reasons. 

You gave me so many chances, 

but I was the one who ruined them.

I gave you all the fault,

 but never acknowledged that we shared that fault.

You were amazing, 

and I was too busy focusing on my depression

to see that you were standing right next to me. 

Now I wish you were here.

Now that I no longer have your presence,

I realized how real you were.

How real we were,

and I was the one that let that all go.

For what?

trust issues?

believing everyone would abandoned me?

yet I was the one who abandoned people first. 

I was so scared of people failing me,

yet I was the one who failed me first.