Until Ragnarok

Part 4: Lost

His body reverberated in pain. It echoed in Conner's head, mimicking the bass of the blaring music. Everyone around him looked swept up in it and the joy of being free. But the pain tethered him with a stranglehold. One that he could not tap out of.

He had made a choice and he had never regretted a decision as much as this one. Tonight, was not the night to prove he was stronger than his demons. He could see that now. That little voice's constant whisper got to him, and he had given in.

People depended on him. Conner hid it for now, but he wasn't certain he could do his job. If he was lucky, tonight would be like the other nights. A waste of time. Tyler's order would end the night with none the wiser. No sense in drawing attention to his stupidity unless he had to.

Conner closed his eyes against the growing pain and the crush of people silhouetted by the flashing lights. He might as well be back in Afghanistan. The feeling was so similar. If he could remove the veil created by the nightclub's strobing lights and blaring music, he could reveal the blast of artillery and terrified civilians. Instead of a swaying dance floor, a bare expanse of shifting sand hiding the enemy. Same panic. Loud noises and a rush of people. They lost that war and his current fight wasn't going well either.

He searched around for other members of his team. A crowd of dancing women swirled around him. A petite blonde winked at him before turning to her friends and giggling. They all looked over at him, and he moved away. Being stuck in this kaleidoscopic horde became too much. Conner stumbled. He looked around, worried that he would find is his commander watching him. Tyler would realize what was going on and be disappointed then remove him leaving their team short-handed. He needed to pull himself together.

But the goal of blending in wasn't achievable for him now. Pain drove him into dissonance. He would rather be anywhere else. Any other bar would be fine. Somewhere quiet. Right now, he would settle for a crowbar. Direct through his skull.

This must be punishment for his arrogance. That voice led him astray before. Accusing him of addiction and weakness. Conner would stop for an hour or two and then the pain would drive him back. Conner assumed that this time was different. He could overcome this flaw. But it was a lie.

There was a shift in the crowd's mood, but the music remained the same. Only an increase in shouting. Conner noticed it because the shift quieted the source of his anxiety as if it had been waiting for the change. It loosened its grip and he changed his focus from internal to external. He wasn't the one who infected the crowd, but something at the other end of the building had.

Was this the end of the waiting? The order given was to find odd behaviour. They had seen plenty of odd behaviour from this area of Vancouver, but nothing that would be extraordinary.

Conner searched for the catalyst for the change. A group of men moved forward. Their behaviour was not notably strange but something shifted in him. That small voice growled at the sight of them. Their focused attention was the only thing differentiating them from the dancing crowd. Their purpose didn't seem to become part of the group. He knew they weren't military. They spread into the throng like a pack of hyenas. Each scanned the crowd and was secure in their group's movements while they hunted.

Was this what they had been looking for? Of course, it wouldn't be when he was at his best. At this point, all he could do was wait for the unimaginable.

Conner watched the guy that had stayed in his section while the other dispersed. He had a scar slashed across his neck like someone had tried to hang him. The man was looking at Conner. Conner's anxiety lifted its head and nipped at him giving a warning not to back down. There was something weird about the man. Conner hoped that this stare-down would reveal something. But the man began to look at him like he was confused.