MY SECRET LOVER (18+)

Chapter 22: SAFE

The time went by so quickly that we didn't realise that it was night. He whispered to me,“I hated hugs, but now I like them. I hated smiling but now I smile only around you ,only for you. I hated love,but now I realise that I am in love,I have always been in love… with you.”

After telling me how he felt he looked away almost ashamed of being vulnerable, I can't blame him for feeling that way because we were taught by our parents that it is the way to be a feared Mafia leader. I really liked that I was changing him. I loved that I was seeing the softer side to him that many people don't see.

He got off the bed immediately after telling me how he felt and left the room. I figured that he needed a little time alone so I didn't follow him.

He came back in the room after about 5 minutes with two things in his hand. The first thing was the contract. He showed it to me then murmured, “This was the dumbest thing I could ever do. I knew that I would one day not be able to control the way I felt about you.”

He took my lighter and burnt the paper in front of me. I was beyond happy seeing that he finally burnt that fucking paper.

He sat beside me on the bed with a next gift in his hand. It was wrapped up in red and black gift paper. He gave it to me and I opened it excitedly. It was a camera, he bought me a camera.

I hugged him and said,“I love it.” I know that I am going to be taking pictures of him without him knowing. He would look so nice on my camera, just for me to look at and realise that I have the best person I could ever wish for.

I kind of feels like a fantasy, because everything is happening just the way I wanted it and I have to remind myself that it is all real.

I took the camera and placed it in a safe spot then sat near Vincenzo. I questioned, “When was your first kill.”
His eyes slowly moved away from mines as he faced the other direction. Maybe I shouldn't ask him that question.
I was about to ask something else when I heard him say,“I was 10.”

10 is such a young age. I had my first kill at 13. I could see Vincenzo being bothered while answering the question, it looked like he wasn't fully over his first kill.

He murmured“My father tied up a man at the warehouse. He sent me there with him. He told me to kill the man but I didn't want to do it so my father--,”

“You don't need to continue if you don't want to. I'm sorry for asking that question,” I whispered to him while holding his hand.

Vincenzo managed to say,“He locked me up in a room, I didn't eat or drink anything for days and he started to hit me after realising that I still didn't want to kill the man.”

This is reminding me of my first time. I was suppose to kill a mother and her baby. I of course didn't want to do it so my father tortured me. I taught that it was normal to get tortured and that I deserved it but I didn't, I fucking didn't. My eyes started getting full of water, I tried my best for Vincenzo not to see my eyes.

“I ended up killing the man. The man told me if I did it then he would die in peace. He said that if I didn't do it then my father would torture him so I killed him,” he murmured.

Hearing Vincenzo's story made me remember mines and I couldn't hold in my tears.

VINCENZO POV:

“I ended up killing the man. The man told me if I did it then he would die in peace. He said that if I didn't do it then my father would torture him so I killed him,” I murmured to her.

I looked over at her and realised that her eyes were full of water, a single drop fell down her eyes and I knew that I had to say something to her to make her fell better because I hated seeing her cry or hurt.

What should I say to her. How do I make her feel better. “I kill a woman and her baby, a fucking baby. They were innocent people, they did nothing to my father and yet I killed them,” she said as she broke down completely.

This is why I never wanted to be in a relationship with anyone because I want to be good enough for her but I can't even stop her from hurting. Why does she even love me. Why the fuck am I even thinking my girl is crying but I am thinking of myself.

“My father fucking tortured me,” she murmured.

I whispered to her,“I know.” What the fuck did I just say. She is talking about how she got tortured and yet I am saying that I know.

Anytime I see her hurt like this I just feel like killing whoever hurt her. I killed her father but that is not enough because she still remembers the bad times. Anytime I think about anyone who tries to hurt her my blood boils, I would fucking kill anyone who tries to hurt her.

I was getting so angry but I knew that I needed to be gentle for her. “I will never let anyone lay a finger on you or hurt you,even if it kills me,” I whispered as I hugged her while clenching my jaw angrily.

I never knew what a hug felt like before I met her, I was missing out but now I love it, I loved being hugged but only by her.

I know what I do to her, I see her tremble when I am near her but does she know what she does to me. I don't think she will ever realise that she has all the power over me. I would kill for her if she asked me to and she wouldn't even need to give me a reason. I would just do it for her.

I slowly pass my hand on her back, rubbing her gently. I felt her breathing going back to normal. I whispered to her,“I don't like seeing you upset.” I wiped the tears from her eyes.

She looked at me with sparkle in her eyes. She held onto me tightly as if I keep her safe.