Tattoo

2

Miranda went home that night and contemplated on telling Tucker about meeting Ben. She didn't know how he would handle it.

Deciding against it Miranda took a shower and flexy rodded her hair for tomorrow.

She walked into the kitchen and took out steaks for dinner. After she was almost done she heard the front door open.

"Hey." Tucker greeted walking over as he leaned down kissing her lips and for the first time since they got married it felt wrong.

"Hey." Miranda smiled.

"Hi baby boy." Miranda cooed grabbing her son out of his arms.

"You're home early." He commented.

"Yeah, I only had two surgeries, so I came home early and cooked dinner."

"Well it smells good."

"Thanks. I made steaks, skillet potatoes and broccoli."

"My favorite." He smiled.

"I know. How was your day?" She smiled.

"It was good. I just went over a few financial records. Anything interesting happened today?"

"No it was a normal day, I uh did rounds, two surgeries both appendectomies and now I'm home what about you?"

"Did some work for a hospital actually. So I still have to finished up tomorrow." He informed her.

She ate dinner with Tucker and they had casual conversation back and forth, but her mind kept wandering to Ben. She wondered what he was doing. This was all too much. She had a good relationship with her husband, he was a good man, but Benjamin Warren was her soulmate. 

In this universe their souls were made together and split in half and then they had to find each other thus the reason for the tattoo. She always loved the story but as she grew older she realized that it sucked.

Ben sat at the bar on his third scotch. He couldn't get her off his mind no matter how much he tried. She was a married woman and he was daydreaming about her. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on and she was supposed to be his. He honestly didn't want to cause her any trouble no matter how he felt. His chest ached thinking about her being married and from their previous conversation he knew she wasn't going to leave her family and it would be wrong of him to even ask or think that she would.

Miranda laid beside her husband trying to find sleep, but it was no use. She thought about Ben, his eyes, nose, lips, facial hair, height. He was everything. Everything that she would have wanted. Miranda rolled over pushing the pillow under her head, finally sleep took over and she was out like a light.

Miranda woke up the next morning and got up to make coffee for herself and her husband.

She got Tuck up and dressed, feeding him breakfast.

"Good morning." Tucker greeted coming into the kitchen.

"Hey honey." Miranda smiled.

Tucker pecked her lips and Miranda did a good job in not flinching this time.

"Tuck is all set for daycare. I packed his diaper bag and snacks." She stated grabbing the bag.

"Okay I will see you later then."

"Alright by baby." Miranda cooed to her son blowing raspberries on his face.

When they left Miranda took a shower, lotion down and put on her robe. She painted her toes hot pink and took the flexi rods out her hair. She comb her fingers through them and styled her hair, satisfied with her look she began to do her makeup when she heard the front door open.

Tucker walked into their room and sat on the bed.

"What are you doing here?" She asked looking at the clock.

"I'm going in late today." He stated looking up at her.

"Oh okay." Miranda said nodding.

"Yeah, I told you that yesterday during dinner, but I think you were tired."

"I was. I'm sorry." She said sheepishly.

"It's fine. Are you off today?" He asked noticing she was home too later than usual.

"No. I'm going in late today too. I have a meeting with other hospitals."

He nodded and grabbed his phone checking messages. Miranda grabbed her outfit and quickly walked into the bathroom. She finished her makeup and got dressed. Sliding into her heels she walked back into the room.

"You look nice, sexy." He complimented. Standing up, he walked over and kissed her lips. Miranda flinched in disgust at the contact.

"What's wrong?" Tucker asked quickly looking down at her.

"Nothing. I was just thinking so I pursed my lips." She lied and then pecked his.

"How long have you had this dress? And you’re wearing it to work?”

"Is there something wrong with it?"

"I don't want men to be drooling at my wife and all her assets." He stressed.

"Nobody is going to be looking at me." Miranda said seriously grabbing her purse.

"They are, they always are."

"If it's too much. I can change. I thought it was appropriate for work."

"It's fine. You just look so good. Your hair, the makeup, dress, and heels. I want you right now." He explained.

Miranda gasped. "Baby if I had time I would, but I'm already running late."

"Tonight?" Tucker questioned hopefully.

"Yeah tonight." She stated already regretting it.

Miranda walked inside the restaurant and she smiled nervously as Ben stood up to pull her chair out.

Ben watched as she approached him and his eyes glanced over her body quickly. The navy blue dress she had on was very figure flattering. She look good with heels on, the platforms she wore made her taller, but still fairly short to him.

"Hey." Miranda greeted softly as she sat down and he scooted her chair in.

"Hey." Ben smiled as he took a seat too.

"So where do we start?" She asked looking up at him.

"I guess the beginning. I know you got your tattoo when you were 16 , but what were you doing?"

"16th birthday party. Right after I blew out the candles. You?"

"In the middle of my basketball game, caused me to lose possession of the ball." Ben chuckled.

"How old are you?

"32." He answered.

"30." Miranda said back.

"Tell me about college and everything till now? Just tell me everything about you."

Miranda and Ben talked for hours. It was so easy and free. They knew they would have to tip the waitress a healthy amount because they were occupying her table for a while, but they couldn't help it. It felt good to finally find the person who understands you completely. Miranda was sure she could have endless conversations with him, if they didn't need sleep.  She never wanted another human being they way she wanted him.  Not even sexually. She literally just wanted him. To wake up to him, lay in bed with him, have fun, talk, anything she could think of.

"Come on let's go to my favorite spot." Ben encouraged.

"Where is it?" Miranda asked smiling softly

"It's a surprise." He said quickly.

"Well you have to give me the address in order to get there."

"I'm driving. I am going to follow you home so you can leave your car. Then we can go."

"Okay." Miranda said nervously.

"Are you nervous?" Ben asked looking at her state. "If you’re uncomfortable we can drive separately."

"No. No I’ll ride with you I just..."

"What?"

"I don't uh trust myself around you." She admitted shamefully.

Ben smiled softly. "It is hard." He commented. "I never knew that it would feel like this. Meeting you that is."

"What does it feel like to you?"

"To explain it best. I feel like I’m living or breathing for the first time. All my life I have just been existing, but now I'm living. For now anyway."

Miranda eyes widened ,but quickly started watering at his "for now" comment.

They left the restaurant after Ben paid and left a hundred dollar tip. Miranda allowed him to follow her home and she look to see if Tucker’s car was parked at their building. When it wasn't she sighed with relief. She opened her door and grabbed some flat shoes out of the back seat.

Walking over to his car Ben opened the door for her.

"Thank you." Miranda smiled.

"You're welcome." Ben replied. "I don't think I told you earlier, but you look absolutely stunning."

Miranda felt her cheeks heat up and she blushed turning to face the window. Clearing her throat she whispered a thank you.

Ben cut music on and hummed softly driving to their destination.

"I don't do the woods." Miranda said looking around and then at him seriously.

"I kind of figured. Good thing that's not where we are going."

Ben pulled up at a park and Miranda changed into flat shoes. He helped her out of the car again and they held hands walking a trail.

They were walking through tall trees, but you could see there was a opening. Getting to the end of the trail Miranda gasped. She could see Seattle's skyline and even Seattle's huge mountain Mt. Rainier behind it. It was beautiful and peaceful.

"Ben this is amazing." She awed. "How do you know about this?"

"Found it when I was a kid. I come here when I need to think or just be alone." Ben answered and she nodded walking over to the bench.

"Not many people know about it because who thinks to come look at the back of a park."

"You made this?" Miranda asked rubbing across the bench where his initials were carved in.
"Yes." Ben said sheepishly.

"Are these mine?"  She questioned reading the M.M.B.

"Yeah, I did it years ago when I first made the bench. I figured one day we would be sitting out here together."

"Wow, that's so sweet. This bench is beautiful and well done. Can you build other things?"

"Thanks. I can build pretty much anything now." He replied.

"I always wanted a tree house."

"A tree house?" Ben laughed thinking she was joking.

"I'm not joking. I want a tree house so I can read in."

"All your si-fi books?"

"Yes and my romance novels." She added. "Let's play 21 questions. I ask you something, you answer and vice versa."

"Okay, but we both have to answer each question that is asked."

"Deal. Okay do you have a guilty pleasure, if so what is it?"

"I would say eating dessert before dinner." Ben laughed.

"Ben be serious." Miranda laughed hitting him.

"Okay seriously my guilty pleasure is learning new information. A challenge." He complied. "You?"

"My guilty pleasure would be authority. I love to be in charge."

"I can see it... If a genie granted you three wishes right now what would you wish for?"

"That's hard. Umm I would wish to live long enough to see my son get married and have kids, to see my future and ... 3 more wishes." Miranda responded.

"3 more wishes of course, a world with no heart break, everyone I love in good health."

"Do you have any regrets?" She asked hesitantly to see if their answers would match.

"I regret having a high adrenaline.... and I regret not finding you sooner." He answered honestly.

"I regret not waiting." She responded staring into his eyes.

Shaking their heads in silence they both turned to look at the skyline deep in thought. What would their lives be like now without the other. Would it be manageable or even bearable.

They knew that it would be. What was life supposed to be like with out the one you loved, certainly not happy.

Miranda laid her head onto his shoulder and blamed herself, this was her fault the impulsive teenager.

Ben thought about what his life was going to be like without her. The feelings he had for her were so deep and so genuine. He couldn't stay here with out her. Spending time with her now hurts because he couldn't do it tomorrow or the next day. This was the only day he had. Most people find their true love and then they start a life together immediately. That's how strong the bond is between your soul mate, you need them.

He wasn't going to be able to stay here and not love her.

"Miranda I love you. I don't want you to chose between me and your family. I want you to be happy no matter what even if it's not with me. I can't stay here and not love you. I can't be here everyday and see you. I can't live in Seattle and not be near you. So I will leave." Ben expressed staring at her.

"Ben what?!... where are you going to go?" She questioned crying.

"I don't know. Somewhere." Ben said sincerely. "I love you, but I uh have to let you go. I'm always here for you, always rooting for you and I will always love you ,but I guess I don't have a choice."

"Ben I-- you can't." She stuttered.

"Miranda this hurts. I have never experienced this kind of heart ache before." He said seriously.

"Ben I feel it too. I just met you, but I can't imagine life without you now. The love I have for you, I feel it coursing through my body. I don't know what to do with this. I don't--

"Hey, you do what you have to do, which is to continue to be a great mother.. and wife. " he told her, lifting up her chin and forcing her to look up at him. Ben wiped her eyes.

He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers softly. It was soft, gentle and sweet. She reached up to the sides of his face and brought his mouth closer to hers to the point that their teeth were touching. Their kiss became passionate, rough and more demanding as the seconds went on. Ben dipped his tongue into Miranda's mouth and she moaned as his swiped against hers.

Snapping out of it Miranda pushed him back whimpering.

"I'm sorry." Ben sighed." I shouldn't have done that."

"No it's fine. I got carried away." Miranda stuttered feeling the after affects of their kiss.

"You ready to go?" Ben asked after clearing his throat.

Miranda thought about this being her last time seeing Ben and her eyes welded up with tears once again. She would never be ready to go.

"No I just want to sit here with you for a while. Is that okay?"

"Of course." Ben smiled slightly. He wrapped his arms around her and she leaned into him laying her head on his chest. Ben kissed her head and they sat in silence a little while before they started talking again.

Before they knew it night fall came and they were still in the same position. She knew Tucker probably called her phone, but she didn't have the heart to check. Sitting up slowly she looked over at Ben who had the same expression on his face.

"I guess this is it." Ben said softly.

"Don't say it like that." She said sadly.

"Don't worry about me. Like they say time heals all wounds." He joked.

"You really believe that?" Miranda questioned.

"No, I think that the wounds will remain, but you just learn to live with it, rebuild yourself. They are covered with scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it's never gone. Maybe one day, I will find someone else, maybe these tattoos are not as permanent as we think. I don't know time will tell.

Miranda’s heart ached at the thought of him finding someone else. Her chest felt hot and she couldn't control the anger she felt towards another woman she has never met.

"Come on it's getting cold out." Ben said extending his hand for her to take.

Miranda took his hand and they walked to his car. He helped her in again and then drove back to her apartment.

Pulling up he parked the car and they looked at each other.

"I love you Miranda Bailey." Ben told her intently.

"I love you too." She cried silently and she could see his tears fall too.

Miranda didn't care about her marriage at this moment. She grabbed his shirt and pulled him to her lips. Ben kissed her back and held her face in his hands. He licked and sucked her lips until air became an issue.

Panting they wiped each others eyes. "I will mostly likely text you were I end up."

"Okay." Miranda whispered.

"Take care of yourself." Ben whispered.

"You too. Goodbye Benjamin Warren."

"Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I'll miss you, until we met again."

"Until we meet again." She nodded and got out of the car.

Miranda stood and watched him drive away. Was she doing the right thing? She shook her head and walked into her apartment building.