The lone wrought iron gate stands menacingly at the end of the five hundred or so metre long gravel driveway. Flanking the gate are two stone angel statues, hands in front of their faces reading their palms, and wings down in a compact fashion. Away from the angels sweeps a wall defended by ranks upon ranks of fir trees.
A pair of figures walk into the scene. One, the leader, remarks to the other about the statues having muttered to themselves earlier on the strangeness of their poses,
'Let us hope that those statues are not Weeping, Charles', they say, confident and a little cocksure.
The other, whose name we now know to be Charles, replies with a simple, single word query.
'Why?'
Confused at their partner's lack of knowledge about the singular thing that they're referencing, the leader replies with a query of their own.
'Have you every heard the tragedy of Darth sally the paradoxical?' they answer, throwing in a second pop culture reference, just for good measure, 'it is not a story that your Jedi would tell you'
'good god, how many times must I tell you not to reference Darth plagius the wise, Alph.' he replies with obvious irritation.
The leader (now known to be Alph), miffed at the fact their friend is annoyed simply asks if he has watched Dr Who. Charles replies in the negative.
'Good god man what are ye doing with your life to not have watched that national treasure that is thus the legendary Dr Who' is the sarcastic reply
'well maybe I have better things to do with my time,' he retorts, in mock anger, 'like revision for my GCSEs'
This blow hits Alph hard and we see them fake recoil backward a couple of steps and a false look of hurt appears on their chiseled features.
'Dude... uncool'
'shall we maybe return to our task?'
'yep, take what we can find, there's sure to be something worth salvaging in there,'
'after all the previous owners disappeared under mysterious circumstances, so we won't meet any resistance'
'And if we do, I've always got my trusty three fifty-seven magnum'
Alph kicks at the gate, unleashing an accurate roundhouse. The old rusty padlock cannot withstand the force and dropped to the floor with mighty clang, the kick doesn't stop there though and the gate buckles under the blow.
The gate creaks slowly open, years of rust and lack of use coming undone over 2 minutes. The pair walk through, Alph slightly in front but otherwise side by side.
The manor house looms over them, Three storeys and dormers making it unnaturally tall, the architecture is Gregorian with some more modern additions to the sides, which Charles (being the architecture nerd of the duo) points out to Alph.
'right, let's split up. Charles you go left and check for any open windows, I'll go right and do the same, shout if you see anything'
With this the one two become two ones. Alph walks off to the right examining the windows for any they can force open with the crowbar that Charles has brought. On accident his eyes stray across to the lawn, upon which seems to be another angel. We - the ever omnipotent audience however - can tell that it's not another, instead the chip in the cheek tells us that it's the left angel from the gate, though how it got here we cannot tell. It's pose has changed however. It's arms are out forward, palms facing upward, and face contorted into that most horrifying of screams, revealing its fangs.
'Charles!', Alph shouts, "I've found another angel!'
'Strange!', comes the reply, 'so have I!'
'does yours bear any resemblance to the ones on the gate?'
