Paula was short. She was shorter than those of you who consider yourselves to be short. She was shorter than five feet. She was shorter than five inches. She was a whopping four inches!
Now that is not short per se, four inches is perfectly average for her species, as Paula would like you to know, but regardless of anything it was still short enough in relation to human beings.
Did she like being tiny in comparison to you? No, not at all. She wasn't considered the "cute" type of short. You see, Paula was a gecko, a house gecko. She roamed around clinging onto walls, witnessing different humans and the way they reacted to seeing her.
Some would make grotesque faces, ones that would make Paula feel frightened. She would want to cry but her mother had taught her not to in front of strangers. Were they really strangers when she knew what colour underwear they wore to sleep on Wednesdays and the smelly farts they would release once in a while? No, Paula was not a stalker, she simply enjoyed clinging onto walls. Stop squinting. She's normal.
Coming back to the cuteness discrimination, Paula was never the prettiest. It was mostly due to her father's bad genes. Oh and also because she was a gecko, not a cute little ladybug or whatever.
This bothered her a lot. She wanted to be liked, especially by the people whose farts she had endured for so long without ever laughing. It was like a high-school hierarchy except Paula was a gecko and the humans were a young couple who would pass out drunk in their apartment quite often. Their names were Shawn and Brittany.
Paula's mother told her to stop going over to their place because Brittany would always try to bother Paula.
Paula hated Brittany. She thought Brittany was jealous of her. She had to be, Paula was clinging onto walls while Brittany clung onto alcohol and being ugly. Paula wasn't beautiful but she bet she would look better than Brittany if she were a human.
Oh, if she were a human! Shawn would be mesmerised by her beauty, get down on one knee and propose to her. They would live together in an apartment like this with hundreds of house geckos!
Those were only dreams of course, because Paula was already set to be married to Mark, her childhood friend. Paula didn't find Mark that attractive but he was funny and that's all she had cared about after a bitter day spent around Shawn and her unrequited love for him. She used Mark as a comedian but now they would be making kids because Paula's mother wanted grandkids. Her mom was always a pain in the tail!
The day of her wedding came sooner than expected and the families were happier than ever. The only unhappy individual here was Paula herself. She hated the idea of marrying Mark. His humour simply wasn't enough to please a girl like Paula.
Now this wasn't a movie and being a runaway bride would only taint her image, so Paula married Mark.
Around the same time, Shawn proposed to Brittany. This angered Paula to no ends. How could she get Shawn and I got an ugly house gecko? Unacceptable!
She had had enough. Paula had once read that cutting her tail off would transform her into a human being but she didn't know if there was any truth to that. She didn't care, she was desperate! Besides, she could grow one back easily.
Much to her shock, it worked! Paula looked at her reflection on the mirror and saw a beautiful young woman. In her hand, was her gecko tail which she put in her pocket. She moved her face around for a few minutes and mastered the art of facial expressions.
Shawn saw her and it was like love at first sight. She was everything he had ever wanted in a woman. He wanted her. So bad.
Within the next few minutes, the two had already planned their first born's middle name. The time to break the news to Brittany had arrived and Shawn was scared.
Upon hearing the news, Brittany screamed. She went insane. Shawn tied her up because he had no clue as to what to do. Paula had read in that same book that attaching a gecko's tail to a mammal can turn them into one. She believed the book by now and she sewed the tail to Brittany.
Shawn hugged Paula in relief.
The engagement ring dropped on the floor and he put it on Paula's finger. They kissed.
Then they lived happily ever after. The end.
I wrote the first half of this when I was sleep-deprived and I have no idea what the fuck this is. I didn't really proofread it so have fun.
