Finding the True Facts in Life

Me as a Construction Worker

  The next chapter in my life was when I joined a construction and destruction crew, or a destruction and construction crew as it should be called since that is the order in which it happens, since first we destruct an old building and then we would construct a new one in its place.
  The job sounded like much fun, but as it turns out it requires much manual physical labor, and I was very upset one time when someone did not acknowledge this and accredited it all to our hardhats! Our hardhats of all things! Our hardhats aren't doing anything except sitting upon our heads! It is the people doing all of the work!
  This is all that happened: I was busily carrying a board, or a plank, I do not remember which it was now, but I do know that it was wood! And as I walked passed our customer and the job foreman talking, I heard the customer ask a very sensible question,
  "When will we be able to move our business into the new building?" was the question asked.
  Then I heard the job foreman's reply, "The hardhats will be finished soon, and then you can move in I'd say by the end of this week."
  I was utterly appalled at this and I confronted him about it. "No disrespect, sir." said I, "However I felt it imperative for me to bring to your attention that it is not the hardhats doing the job, but it is in fact us people that preform the hard manual physical labor required to complete this job."
  "What is the matter with you?" the foreman asked, "Get back to work Dumb Bum!"
   So I went back to work pleased that he had acknowledged the fact it was indeed me that was carrying out the job and not my hardhat! I was however still upset with him, so I spun on my heel with wood still upon my shoulder, which caused the foreman to need to crouch low in order to spare him a smacking, then after I had done that naughty little deed I went back to work.
  As I was working I felt the urge to urinate, so I stopped and went right away! I entered the portable, one-person sized, space for urination and defecation, often called an outhouse, but that is incorrect since outhouses are fixed to one specific location, and as stated before these are portable, so the more correct common name, would be the 'porta-potty'.
  Anyways I entered to pee within its confinements and it really stunk in there! It smelled like twenty butts had all went in there and farted at the same time! But I know that is not at all possible since there is only room enough for one person at a time. So whoever was in there before me, must have had some real mean curry to make them smell like that!
  The building that we were constructing was complete in a few days time, and as soon as the project was done I quit the destruction and construction company to find something in a not-so-toxic work environment, I became a salesman!