Friends Oneshots

Tension

 Phoebe can see it. She believes Monica and Rachel do too, but they're more reluctant to assume. Ross is simply oblivious.

Chandler and Joey are close. They've always been close. But there's a hint of awkward tension in their relationship. She has been mentally compiling a list of their oddest interactions, only including the biggest ones. There are countless smaller ones she hasn't bothered to document.

One of the larger incidents being New Years. Chandler was begging someone to kiss him. Phoebe had considered kissing him because he's always so lonely and she's a good friend. Chandler was jumping up and down in his hyper Chandler-ish way. Before she could act, Joey grabbed his jaw and pushed their lips together. It was chaste and taken as more of a joke than a serious move, but she saw how caught off guard Chandler was. How quiet he was the rest of the night. How he kept glancing at Joey. He was in his shell for a week afterward. Joey had appeared proud of himself for having such an effect on his roommate. When Phoebe mentioned this to him he smiled and laughed.

There was the incident where Chandler discovered the fact that everyone thought he looked gay. She doesn't remember if that came before or after the New Year's incident. Honestly, it's not even Chandler's look that makes him appear gay. He's just never shown a huge interest in women, and sometimes he fangirls over male celebrities with the girls. Phoebe thinks it's a self-conscious repression scenario. She's dated a psychiatrist.

Anywho, the guys sort of disagreed with the girls but that may have just been to spare their friend's feelings.

Joey had an audition once, and the character happened to be gay. It was a rather explicitly gay role, although Joey wasn't very bothered by that. His agent advised him to work on his flirting and... "feeling up the same gender". Apparently, Joey was less experienced in that department, and the role was for a decent network so Joey was all-in. He begged and pleaded with Ross to just hear him out, maybe read the other characters' lines. Ross, naturally, insisted on him getting the hell out of his apartment. Monica and Rachel suggested he go to a gay bar downtown to get some real experience. Joey insisted he had reservations for someone, and wasn't in the mood for drunk guys in skirts— "at least not that kind of drunk guy in a skirt". After choosing Chandler as his "last resort" he begged and pleaded with him, the same way he had with Ross. Chandler, being the pushover he is, finally caved and agreed to run a scene with him. "Just one!" he had insisted in his Chandler-Bing-signature-tone. Phoebe managed to weasel her way into their apartment while they ran the scene, "for notes", she had insisted. They assumed she was the least plotting and condescending of the group. They ran the scene, despite reading from a script Chandler often seemed flustered and at a loss for words. Joey claimed that it was actually a good representation of the character. Phoebe had watched in amazement as Joey flirted his way into his friend's personal space to the point that Chandler was lifted onto the counter, Joey between his legs with his hands on Chandler's hips. Joey had— again— insisted that was the way they wrote it. Chandler had hopped off the counter and claimed, rather dramatically, that he had to draw the line somewhere.

Chandler and Phoebe had a discussion about their types once. Chandler kept pointing out the fact that he was referring to women while Phoebe spoke ambiguously.

"I like people who are honest, y'know? I'm not picky when it comes to physical traits. I'm here for interesting souls," she commented.

"I like women with uh... dark hair. Confidence is hot. Maybe it's because I'm awkward and I wouldn't want to date someone who— a girl— who was awkward too. Sometimes being manhandled— womanhandled?— is comforting," Chandler mutters hesitantly. "Accents are cute too but it's not a big thing. Faint ones, not overbearing ones."

To Phoebe that sounded exactly like Joey. Maybe she's jumping the gun a bit, but maybe she's hit the nail on the head. Joey had walked into Chandler's room just after he said that.

"Yeah man, I can get behind the dark hair thing but I like people who are soft. Defensive. Damaged. They make the best cuddlers. And they're cute too!" Joey says with a goofy grin, plopping down to sit beside Chandler. Chandler suddenly looked flustered and gestured his hands wildly.

"Dude, knock! What if I was naked?!?" Chandler ran an awkward hand through his hair.

"Like that would stop me," Joey scoffed. Phoebe doesn't doubt it would've happened, and even suspects it had happened before. Chandler sputters and turns beat red, unable to come up with a fast retort.

He finally muttered a half-hearted "you wish". Joey just shrugged.

Now they sit in a circle, playing truth or dare. Yes, they're full-grown adults. Do they care? Well, heck no. Ross sits uncomfortably after being dared to slip a piece of ice down his shirt. Monica has just spilled her guts, telling us about the time she got drunk and woke up in a dumpster. Phoebe has to tell them about her first after-life experience. Like they haven't heard it before.

"Chandler! Truth or dare?"

"Dare, duh."

"Uh... ooo! Ooo!"

"Are you a monkey all of sudden? C'mon Pheebs."

"Hold your horses Mr! I was gonna give you a break, but since you felt the need to comment I'll kick it up a notch. You have too... sit on Joey's lap!" Phoebe smirks.

"Jokes on you! This has happened before!" Chandler retorts as he scoots towards Joey on the couch. The rest of the group exchanges glances. "It was only for a second and to make a point, don't make it weird."

"Yeah Pheebs, I thought you of all people would've been a bit more creative," Joey comments.

"If you guys keep digging this hole you'll end up in China," Rachel exchanges a mischievous look with Phoebe and gives her an encouraging thumbs-up.

"You guys didn't let me finish. Chandler, you have to straddle Joey until the game is finished or until someone else's dare makes you move." Phoebe adds. Chandler rolls his eyes, but nonetheless swings one leg over Joey's lap and sits. He crosses his arms looking rather out of place. Joey, however, is wearing his signature shit-eating grin.

The group pesters Chandler until he chooses someone else. He asks Joey, rather begrudgingly. Joey answers truth, likely to spite Chandler, who probably would have dared him to move from underneath his legs. Phoebe watches curiously as Chandler angrily thinks of a question. Joey hooks his arms around Chandler's waist, then loops his thumb into the waistband of Chandler's pants. It's not too intimate, but it's enough to cause Chandler to space out into a long string of "ummmm".

Thankfully, Monica saves him. She leans over and whispers something in his ear. Chandler considers it for a moment, then adopts a cocky grin.

Chandler leans forward so their noses are mere inches apart. "Have you ever had a thing for a guy?"

Joey chuckles and the rest of the group completely laugh their asses off. They get a bit off-topic, discussing experiences they've had with the other gender. Phoebe keeps her eyes trained on the two. She strains her hearing when she sees Joey look Chandler up and down awkwardly.

"I've been around the bend a few times," Joey finally utters in a low voice.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Dude that's..." Chandler trails off, adopting a look like a deer on headlights. Phoebe doesn't understand why at first, being a bit confused herself. But then she looks down to see that Joey has moved his hands from Chandler's back to his legs. His palms are cupping the underside of his friend's thighs, a bit high for platonic.

Phoebe looks away, satisfied. She joins the conversation with the rest of the group. When she looks back a few minutes later, the boys are nowhere to be found. Tension gone.