I Belong to Her

Chapter 17

After that day, my relationship with Lia undergoes a subtle, but noticeable change. She's no longer quite so determined to keep me out, and I slowly get to know the person behind the prickly walls.

"I know you think you got a rough deal," she says one day as we're fishing together, "but believe me, Yeji, Ryujin really does care about you. You're very lucky to have someone like her."

"Lucky? Why?"

"Because no matter what she's done, Ryujin is not really a monster," Lia says seriously. "She doesn't always act in a way that society deems acceptable, but she's not evil."

"No? Then what is evil?" I'm genuinely curious how Lia defines the word. To me, Ryujin's actions are the very epitome of something an evil man might do my stupid feelings for her notwithstanding.

"Evil is someone who would murder a child," Lia says, staring at the bright blue water. "Evil is someone who would sell his thirteen-year-old daughter to a Mexican brothel . . ." She pauses for a second, then adds, "Ryujin is not evil. You can trust me on that."

I don't know what to say, so I just watch the waves pounding against the shore. My chest feels as though it's being squeezed in a vise. "Did Ryujin save you from evil?" I ask after a while when I'm certain that I can keep my voice reasonably steady.

She turns her head to look at me. "Yes," she says quietly. "She did. And she destroyed the evil for me. She handed me a gun and let me use it on those men the ones who killed my baby daughter. You see, Yeji, she took a used-up, broken street whore and gave her her life back."

I hold Lia's gaze, feeling like I'm crumbling inside. My stomach is churning with nausea. She's right: I didn't know the real meaning of suffering. What she's been through is not something I can comprehend.

She smiles at me, apparently enjoying my shocked silence. "Life is nothing more than a fucked-up roulette," she says softly, "where the wheel keeps spinning and the wrong numbers keep coming up. You can cry about it all you want, but the truth is that this is as close to a winning ticket as it gets."

I swallow to get rid of the knot in my throat. "That's not true," I say, and my voice sounds a bit hoarse. "It's not always like this. There is a whole other world out there—the world where normal people live, where nobody tries to hurt you—"

"No," Lia says harshly. "You're dreaming. That world is about as real as a Disney fairy tale. You might have lived like a princess, but most people don't. Normal people suffer. They hurt, they die, and they lose their loved ones. And they hurt each other. They tear at each other like the savage predators they are. There is no light without darkness, Yeji; the night ultimately catches up with us all."

"No." I don't believe it. I don't want to believe it. This island, Lia, Ryujin it's all an anomaly, not the way things always are. "No, that's not—"

"It's true," Lia says. "You might not realize it yet, but it's true. You need Ryujin just as much as she needs you. She can protect you, Yeji. She can keep you safe."

She seems utterly convinced of that fact.

"Good morning, my kitty," a familiar voice whispers in my ear, waking me up, and I open my eyes to see Ryujin sitting there, leaning over me. She must've come here straight from some formal business meeting because she's wearing a dress shirt instead of her usual more casual attire. A surge of happiness blazes through me. Smiling, I lift my arms and twine them around her neck, pulling her closer toward me.