Demon Slayer ; KNY Oneshots! || Requests Open!!

One More Time.

Warning! This chapter includes:
Mugen Train spoilers.
Iguro Obanai-centric manga spoilers
Very many tears.
Self-deprecation
Self-harm (thoughts)
Past trauma

This chapter is/has:
Iguro Obanai centric.
OOC Iguro Obanai.
Inspired by that one episode of Violet Evergarden
Rengoku Obanai(Obanai taken in by the Rengoku's)
Written in 3rd person.
Rengoku Shinjuro being nice!?!?!?
Obanai and Uzui friendship because I say so

This fic does NOT have:
Romantic ships
Graphic depictions of warnings.
Comfort. (Sorry you hurt/comfort lovers)

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" One more time. "

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Iguro found himself shaking. Every bone in his body shook like a leaf.
His throat closed up, and he almost wanted to close in on himself.

' Thank you for being a good brother and making him happy, when me and Senjuro could not.
Thank you for being such a big reason Kyojuro still smiles, even at death... '
Iguro choked, and tears fell.
He put the letter down, and doubled over, a sob tearing its way out of his throat, so painfully.

"No. No, no- NO! I didn't-- I was-wasn't--"
As if it would make his rebuttal towards a letter any stronger, he raised his head, and slammed his head onto the floor, and sobbed even louder.

Iguro Obanai had always held Rengoku Kyojuro close to his heart. Always.
Kyojuro was dear to him in ways words could not express, in ways even imagination could not express. Kyojuro was the only reason he could still look at his mask-less face in the mirror, and not find himself wanting to claw at his scars, or throw up at the sight of himself.
Kyojuro was the only rea-... the only person who could grab ahold of all the doubts he had, of all the self-hatred that lay buried deep inside his heart, and rip it all out with a single smile, even if just for a moment.

The floor did not break with the slam, but he wished it did. He wished the floor broke and splinters stuck in his head that he'd need to spend hours picking out, and by the time he'd finished, he would forget Kyojuro was dead, at least until tomorrow.

Iguro Obanai had friends, of course he did. He had Mitsuri Kanroji, Shinazugawa Sanemi, Uzui Tengen-- if he could be considered a friend, and less of an overly 'flamboyant' guy who messed up Iguro's hair one way or another, everytime they met.

But never, NEVER had he ever had anybody else as close to him as Rengoku Kyojuro, Rengoku Ruka, Rengoku Senjuro, or even Shinjuro, although that closeness was no longer shared with Shinjuro as much as it used to be.

Rengoku Kyojuro was the best person Iguro had known. The best person Iguro would ever know.
His smile was brighter than a thousand suns. His voice was loud, but familiar and kind.
Without Kyojuro, the world was so much dimmer. So much more.. monochrome.

When Iguro was younger, Kyojuro had forced him to socialize with the rest of the family, without even realizing it.
Kyojuro's presence allowed him to feel.. content, and happy. Allowed him to feel free, even if for a little.

And so selfishly, Iguro had left, when Ruka died, and when Shinjuro became a mean, mean man, and when Kyojuro kept telling him Shinjuro was hurting, and it would get better soon, when after a few weeks they both knew it was just hope, at that point.
Iguro left, and hurt Senjuro and Kyojuro in the process.

Rengoku Obanai was not a good brother.

And that realization that he would never, never be able to take the years he left back, the realization he would never get the years he wished he was there for them back was the most painful feeling in the world.
More painful than his face torn open.
More painful than the phantom hands that clawed at his skin everyday.
More painful than the words his very own cousin jammed into his brain.
More painful than anything he ever imagined.
One last time, he wanted to hear Kyojuro's voice.
One last time, he wanted to hear his voice, see his smile and hear his laugh, and feel his warm embrace.
He wanted all of the things he would never get again.

And as he curled in on himself, arms wrapped around his own body, forehead pressed against the floor, letter long forgotten..
As his body grew tired, and as he drifted off to a dream he hoped would be less painful than this moment,
He wondered, if when he died.. if he would end up with Kyojuro.
He wondered if he would ever see him again, if he would ever end up in heaven, as he knew Kyojuro would.
And if he did, by some miracle..

He wondered if Kyojuro would hold him.
        One more time.

Just one.. final time..

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" Set your heart ablaze. "

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A/N time!
This was not a request at all! I just wrote a little thing and felt like sharing it! Actually, Iguro Obanai is supposed to be out of character here, because we normally see him, both in the manga, and in the anime, as a really cold and quietly ego-centric(from Season 2) guy, even during Rengoku's death, where all he says is; "I don't believe it.."
But I like to think there's a lot more to him than just a cold exterior. I like to think that, behind the scenes, he has a lot of feelings he keeps stuck inside him, that he never really lets go of, until that off-chance he's alone in his home, his safe space.

I also like to think, since it was never specified, that Shinjuro took him in after all of, yknow, and kept him! And in that, he grew close to Kyojuro, and Senjuro, and everyone else, but that he left before he could ever meet Mitsuri.

Also Shinjuro writes a letter to him because HE CAN BE REDEEMED, RIGHT?? PLEASE?? SOMEONE REDEEM SHINJURO BEFORE I HAVE A BREAKDOWN

Anyways, Iguro Obanai and Uzui Tengen friendship.
And Iguro Obanai and Rengoku Kyojuro brothers. Because. I. Said. SO!

Also I just finished Violet Evergarden episode 11 and I am not okay. </3

Okay okay anyways !! A/N over!! Goodbye!
Also, feel free to request anytime!

A cover for this chapter will be up, eventually! It's time to draw pain! *laughs maniacally*

Edit: I got my cover up!! Woo!!