this same song and dance

6

Agent 1029 clapped a hand on Teucer's shoulder. "You're looking sharp, comrade!"

"Thanks. You too." Teucer smoothed the front of his Fatui dress uniform. It wasn't all that different from the long coat, red shirt, and black pants of the regular uniform; except for some extra ornamentation and being made of slightly nicer materials. He did feel fancy in it, though.

"Can you believe today's finally the day we're going to see Lord Tartagalia himself? The very man who won the heart of the Liyuan consultant."

One of the men who'd maybe won the consultant's heart. Teucer had no idea why Agent 1029 was so fixated on Zhongli. There were plenty of other pretty people out there that were associates of the Fatui. Arguably perhaps not as attractive as Zhongli, but the man was very much taken.

"I wonder if we'll get to speak with the Eleventh at all while he's here." Agent 1029 continued rambling as they began heading to the venue for the rehearsal dinner. "We're in his unit, after all. Maybe he'll call a meeting with us sometime during the event."

Teucer hoped no such thing happened. He still had yet to sort out his thoughts and have that talk with his big brother about Zhongli. He wasn't ready to meet Ajax's husband-in-law yet, even if it was in a work setting.

"Where are you stationed again? I'm going to be on patrol for most of the actual banquet, except for when I switch in during the speeches."

"Over there." Teucer pointed to a spot just within casual sightline of the long table reserved for the Harbingers. He had the unfortunate honor of being placed at such a vaunted location, despite how much he'd hinted he wouldn't mind just about any other position. At least he and Agent 1029 would be trading partway through, and Teucer wouldn't have to worry about being so close to Lord Tartaglia.

"Right, right. This is a prime spot!" Agent 1029 nodded. "Good thing we're so dapper in our fancy uniforms. Gotta make a good impression on the Eleventh!"

"COMRAAAAADE!" Agent 1029 rushed up and seized Teucer by the shoulders. "WHAT SHOULD I DOOOO?!"

Teucer nearly fell over. "Huh? What's wrong?"

"Look at my coat, LOOK AT IT!" Agent 1029 dramatically gestured to a couple sizable stains smelling like salted fish.

"What happened?"

"I was minding my own business, checking my patrol route, when suddenly bam bam! Two different people spill food on me at the exact same time! I can't show up like this, I look and smell like a herring in a fur coat!"

Teucer examined the stains. There was no chance of finding a replacement jacket in time before the rehearsal banquet began. They would have to try and make do with what they had. "Let's go get some vinegar to try and clean this off."

"Vinegar?" Agent 1029 was starting to sniffle, but tried to hold it back.

"Yup. My older siblings use it to get stains out before our mother notices. My big sister showed me once." Teucer led the way to a nearby storeroom. "We'll look for some in here, okay?"

"Okay..."

After poking around for a few moments, they managed to find a bottle of it on one of the shelves. Teucer helped Agent 1029 out of the coat and began applying a generous amount of vinegar to the stains.

"How much did those two people spill on you?" It hadn't seemed too bad when he'd just been looking at it, but Teucer was about to empty the entire bottle across the bottom length of the coat.

"The entire platter, comrade. Both of them." Agent 1029 looked mournfully from him to the ruined garment and back again. "The entire. Platter."

"That's...excessive."