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Warnings: self-harm, mention of blood, suicidal ideation, depression.
You knew what you were doing was wrong. It was a self destructive way to deal with the pain. But you couldn't help it, the physical pain took everything away. Every time you dragged that razor blade across your skin, it felt like ecstasy to you. Suddenly, you heard Arthur's voice down the hall. You quickly threw the blade away and pulled your sleeve over your arm. Arthur opened the door and you quickly turned to look at him. He smiled that charming smile is his. You gave a nervous one because you knew that he would be upset if he saw what you did to yourself again.
"Hallo, darling" Arthur said as he walked towards you. You kept on smiling at him as you hid your arm behind your back. He took your hand and kissed your forehead. "My love, I'm so sorry that you haven't seen me a lot lately, I've just been so busy, but I'm here now" he said and kissed your hand as well. "I'm glad you're back" you said and hoped that he wouldn't notice. "Tonight, I'm going to make you dinner and we will have a romantic evening together, what do you-" he said but stopped talking. He was looking down on the floor.
"Are you hurt, honey?" he asked worried. You also looked down on the floor and saw blood. "Oh...no...I - I just had a nose bleed...I forgot to clean it up" you said nervously. Arthur did not believe you. He reached out and took your arm that was behind your back. "Arthur..." you said with a slight tremble in your voice. He slowly rolled your bloody sleeve up and saw the new cut. There was silence. You didn't know if he was angry or heartbroken. "Arthur...please say something" you said sadly.
He looked at you. Your heart broke as you saw tears rolling down his cheeks. "Why my love? Why do you keep hurting yourself?" he asked sadly. You pulled your arm away from his hand. "I..I don't know, Arthur" you said and started crying. Arthur wanted to touch your cheek but you turned your head and slowly walked away. He looked as you slowly walked towards the other corner of the room. "It makes the pain inside of me go away...it feels like hell!!" you said and broke down. You started to sob into your hands.
Arthur slowly walked towards you and gently put his hands on your arms. Y/N...please...you know that you can tell me anything" he said sadly as he put his arms around you. You lowered your hands from your face and slowly turned around in Arthur's arms to face him. He put his finger under your chin and lifted it. You looked into his soft blue eyes and sobbed into his chest. He held you tighter. "I just...I just miss them so much!!" you sobbed.
Arthur understood, you were talking about your parents. Your parents were part of the community too and one day they got into a terrible accident. You had never felt so alone in your life, and that's when you started to self-harm. One day, Arthur saw what you were doing and stopped you. He told you that you will never be alone again and from that day on you two were inseparable and passionately in love with each other.
"I wish they were here!" you cried into his chest. "Oh my darling...I wish I could bring them back for you in a second if I could" Arthur said as couple of tears fell on the top of your head. You held him tighter. "And...I'm so sorry for not being here the last couple of days...I should've looked after you...I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you" he said and brushed your hair. You felt really bad for scaring him like that. "It's okay" you said sniffling.
Arthur sat you down on the bed and dressed your wound. "I'm sorry too" you said sadly. He looked at you. "I know that I disappointed you" you said and tears started forming in your eyes. Arthur put his hands on your cheeks and lifted your face. "You didn't disappoint me, honey. It just pained me to see you so heartbroken and I hate the fact that you hurting yourself was the only way you could find peace" he said with a tremble in his voice. You reached your hand up to his cheek and stroked it with your finger.
Arthur knelt down in front of you. "You will never have to turn to a blade again to ease your pain...I'm here...and I will always be here" he said and kissed you. You could feel your heart mending somehow when you heard those words. As Arthur kissed you with his soft and tender lips, you made a promise to yourself. Every time you wanted to reach out for a blade, you would think of this moment. Instead of using a hard and sharp object to ease your pain, you would turn to a gentle and kind man. You would turn to your boyfriend, Arthur Harrow.
