SUNDAY JANUARY 5
Love a good pear. When I was most recently ushered into Americanhood, there was a serious man. He had dolls promoting peace, assuring me no nefarious intentions lied in the words I was being instructed to swear by.
MONDAY, JANUARY 6
Books for reference and fertility include:
1. L'Etranger
2. The TEMPLE OF THE GOLDEN PAVILION
3. The Invisible Man
4. The Routine
- White Russians=water
- Bach=Richter
TUESDAY, JANUARY 7
Superman Reborn.
Superman Lives!
?
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 8
Before I was, I was hungry.
I studied before I left the Void. I prepared. Planned.
It'll take discipline to keep my dreams' appetites in check, and a lifetime of living to learn how...
The other Voiders gave up on this world -No, they never even gave it a chance. I sense there's no one else on the planet from Home. Every native consciousness is a fancy robot here. I may be made of pink-white marmalade, but this crib cannot contain me. Not even the cage of nonbeing could, so how could wood?
Painted whiter than the color of my toes, but far weaker.
The wood, that is.
I was born today. This world is weak. Broken like a burnt pizza crust in the jaws of a dog. I chose to be born here, to serve those who are beaten into weakness. Broken, over and again, most of their souls already digesting in the belly of the beast. If I am to have a form, then, let it be that of a beast. I will wait in the shadows, then I will become the shadows, then I will devour them, including myself.
Cosmic consciousness - it was hell trying to find it, so I let it find me. I chose this. I chose me. Who am I?
The birth certificate says N------ K-- C------. And I say I was born today.
FEBRUARY 15
It's all
SUNDAY, MAY 4
Sometimes you encounter something and you don't know why but you become conscious of an urge, animal, Belugan, delectable. The urge to understand that thing, as no one and nothing else can know and understand and decipher it. Rivers pour out of a book with a grayish green color, in a library with cushioned walls. A painter who may as well have been me said cats were the conduits of electricity. Magic lies in choosing what to replace the words 'cats' and 'electricity' with when writing that sentence over again with the brush of life, living each day a dash or a stroke across the canvass of this. our emptiness.
MONDAY, MAY 5
I witnessed grace. This has been, like, an insane day. I don't know why on my second day alive I found myself at a circus, but there I was. I felt like I was barely halfway out my bathtub when I finally woke up for the first time. A close up into the eye so, so high above my eyebrows. I saw it all, but I had to simulate the nothingness of the eternity preceding me. I am a student.
The Nothingness has been unCaged. Now I will listen to the voice flowing out. I hear the dust kicked up by dancing feet near a bonfire.
