A lifetime of memories

Lost

The days became a blur, neighbors dropping food off at the house, the phone ringing off the wall, and Leo following me everywhere I went. As I look down at Leo, my eyes filled with tears and my cheeks became hot as I embraced Leo's long golden brown hair. Golden retrievers are the most loyal dogs and I just knew he would never leave me.
May 25th, 1992, marked the hardest day of my life. Numb to the pain in my heart, I stand at the entrance to the elegant white church entry way. Adults passing me, patting my head as they walked by, the chattering around me becoming muffled as I looked on.
Two caskets laid open with my mother and father's lifeless bodies laying peacefully, as white roses lay cascaded down the bottom half of their coffins, trickling down the sides. The lights in the church dim, poetically showed the death in my heart slowly churning in my stomach as I balled up my fists in anger. Anger because I would never see my parents again, I would never get to hug them and tell them I love them again. I would never hear their voices, feel their touch or have them with me as I go on.
Aunt Mildred wouldn't let Leo come, and I looked around only to feel even more alone. I was alone, I had nobody, this was my future. I crumbled to the floor in a pile of sadness. Uncle Beau came and picked me up in his strong arms. He smelled like dad, but it wasn't the same. His beard was scratchy and smelled like pine. I dig my fingers into his black jacket and I cry into his chest, feeling the buttons of his white dress shirt, stabbing my nose. He pats my back softly and tells me it will be ok. But how? How will everything be ok? I don't have my mom or dad!
My face sticky from the salt in my tears. I sit between my aunt and uncle, tuning out what the minister is saying in front of everyone sitting quietly in the pews. The scratchy cloth from under me poking through my skirt, and itching me. I begin to wiggle and pull at my skirt, trying to stop the itch, but Aunt Mildred reached over and gave me a look of warning to sit still. Uncle Beau looked down at me and wrapped his arm around me pulling me in. He was dad's brother, and I knew he was sad too.
We got up as the minister was done speaking, and he asked everyone to stay where they were as mom and dad's caskets were removed. I could not take it any more, I broke loose of Uncle Beau's grasp and I ran after the caskets as fast as I could. Tears streaming down my face, blood curdling screams raced from my mouth. As I ran to the end of the walkway and clung to my dad's coffin. Begging for mom and dad back, begging for god to make it all a dream, begging for my life back. Aunt Mildred raced behind me as Uncle Beau charged on behind her. They pulled me off the coffin, and had to pry my fingers off the handles. I kicked and screamed and yelled for my parents to wake up. I did not care who was there, what they thought, or if anyone was mad at me. I wanted my mom and dad back!